Today, I have ended a conversation with love.
How often do you (verbally) express your love to someone else? The internet has a funny way of enforcing intimacy in a way that wouldn't necessarily be the same in a regular exchange, this form of technology is similar to alcohol in that respect. A kiss on the lips is the informal handshake of young people. Love loses its meaning in being plastered all over walls everywhere, the number of x at the end of the message is obviously so significant in friendship heirarchy and determining levels of attraction, something that should be analysed to the max and used to assess the validity of suspicions.
One of my friends works with computers, sits all day in front of them, taking calls and such. What I find most intriguing, is the stories that I hear from the workplace, a suggestive snippet of conversation making it seem like that is all the workmates did all day - flirt, gossip, flirt and marvelled at the confidence my friend must have to make this kind of conversation, and gain that sort of attention with people who weren't much more than aquaintances in any real sense. Then I found out it was all conducted online, via messenger. It seems an odd thing to make note of now, but it made a big difference in how I saw the interactions between them.
To start up a conversation with a person online isn't hard to do, really. It's much easier to let your guard down when you're not actually faced with the person, or to present yourself using the more attractive parts of your personality. How can you pretend you've got any kind of real repore without actually ever speaking to them? Flirting online is just not the same at all, people say stuff online that they would never dare even hint at face-to-face. Love and kisses are thrown about all over the place "zomg, I actually LOVE you!!11!!xXxXxXx" without a second thought. It makes the whole boy/girl interaction thing a whole lot easier, in some respects. Indeed, I'm not denying there's something to be gleaned from that form of communication, of course you can learn a lot about a lot and perhaps a lot more than you might usually. But honestly, I can't have much faith in your womanising or - is there an equivalent for men? - manising? skills if online instant messaging is your main piece of evidence for them.
On the jukebox: Goo Goo Dolls ~ Name
How often do you (verbally) express your love to someone else? The internet has a funny way of enforcing intimacy in a way that wouldn't necessarily be the same in a regular exchange, this form of technology is similar to alcohol in that respect. A kiss on the lips is the informal handshake of young people. Love loses its meaning in being plastered all over walls everywhere, the number of x at the end of the message is obviously so significant in friendship heirarchy and determining levels of attraction, something that should be analysed to the max and used to assess the validity of suspicions.
One of my friends works with computers, sits all day in front of them, taking calls and such. What I find most intriguing, is the stories that I hear from the workplace, a suggestive snippet of conversation making it seem like that is all the workmates did all day - flirt, gossip, flirt and marvelled at the confidence my friend must have to make this kind of conversation, and gain that sort of attention with people who weren't much more than aquaintances in any real sense. Then I found out it was all conducted online, via messenger. It seems an odd thing to make note of now, but it made a big difference in how I saw the interactions between them.
To start up a conversation with a person online isn't hard to do, really. It's much easier to let your guard down when you're not actually faced with the person, or to present yourself using the more attractive parts of your personality. How can you pretend you've got any kind of real repore without actually ever speaking to them? Flirting online is just not the same at all, people say stuff online that they would never dare even hint at face-to-face. Love and kisses are thrown about all over the place "zomg, I actually LOVE you!!11!!xXxXxXx" without a second thought. It makes the whole boy/girl interaction thing a whole lot easier, in some respects. Indeed, I'm not denying there's something to be gleaned from that form of communication, of course you can learn a lot about a lot and perhaps a lot more than you might usually. But honestly, I can't have much faith in your womanising or - is there an equivalent for men? - manising? skills if online instant messaging is your main piece of evidence for them.
On the jukebox: Goo Goo Dolls ~ Name
"making it seem like that is all the workmates did all day - flirt, gossip, flirt"
ReplyDeleteWhy, isn't that what work is for? :-p
You're not wrong about online communication though. People are just so much less inhibited online. Which makes it odd when you first meet people you've met on t'net, cos you come across completely different.
It depends; I'd rather show my love than say it. My friend Rosie and I exchange "love you"s a lot at the ends of phone calls etc, and it means just that...nothing more, nothing less. She's probably the one I'm most open about it with. I suppose love should mean something so strong that you only really feel it for one person, maybe two. To me, it means "I care about you, a hell of a lot" which maybe isn't enough? I don't know. It seems right, for me.
ReplyDeleteThere are others that I say "I love you" to less frequently, but when I say it, it means a lot. More than a lot.
As for online conversations; I agree that you can control which aspects of your personality to give out, and which to hold back. It's easy to sound far more interesting online, which is why I often worry people are disappointed when they meet me in person! But I agree...a connection in real life is so much more valuable than a connection on the internet.
*nods*
ReplyDeleteMost of my Facebook postings (and indeed my texts) end with 'xx'. It's completely habitual and it doesn't warrant great reading into - indeed it's probably more significant when I don't put 'xx', if anything (- it probably will mean something if I put 'xxxxx', but thats will only be to certain people and not in a flirting context). But that's not to say that I'd kiss everyone who I messaged twice on meeting them in person.
I don't say 'I love you', expect to family. Ever, I don't think. Sometimes I'll be thinking it, be screaming it in my head, but I find it really hard to say that sort of thing. 'I miss you' is as far as I'll go, and even then it's an effort to actually get the words out.
And yes, online interaction. To summarise large numbers of conversations I have had on this topic - in some ways exciting and in a lot of ways interesting, but never as satisfying as a real-life friendship. :-)
*nods in agreement with Flix*
ReplyDelete*nods at lucy in acknowledgement of long discussions about the pros and cons of internet messaging communication*
*nods in agreement to everyone else.*
"Most of my Facebook postings (and indeed my texts) end with 'xx'."
ReplyDeleteYeah, I NEVER do that. I can understand girls doing it, but I know a decent amount of blokes who do it as well, and its just... wrong!
Apparently I'm the only member of my family not to do it when we're texting each other. Really irritates my Mum.
$0.02
A kiss is not just a cross. It's a very delicate thought process, or so they say...
ReplyDeletex - I don't know you too well, but well, everyone gets a kiss. For boys: I don't want to look too gay.
xx - Standard. We're friends, but I don't want you to get the wrong idea.
xxxx - we're pretty good friends, I'm not pushing it too far though.
xxxxx - Whatever, don't read into kisses so much.
xxxxxxxxxxx - I adore you a lot, either as a friend, or something more....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx - I love you, I want to have your babies, get serious like crazy.
See what I mean? Then again, maybe that's just me. All the guys I know do kisses too, to each other, to girls, to anyone, though I have spoken to people who find this weird. And girls who get upset when guys don't do enough kisses, or kiss someone else but not them, or people who kiss someone else as much as them. And yes, I'm still talking about those little crosses.
Amazing how much is read into them, eh?!
I put a single kiss at the end of texts, to everyone unless there's a reason why I wouldn't. Only if I am feeling particularly loving will there be multiple kisses.
ReplyDeletex
Oh, yeh. One of my (guy) friends has explained to his "system" for awarding Xs (not kisses ¬_¬) to me before (never to guys, and more kisses depending on how much he wants to sleep with them, pretty much).
ReplyDeleteI wonder if anyone reads into the fact that I never put them? Heh, I hope so...
in my book:
x = marks the spot
xxx = pr0n (or so i've heard *polishes halo*)
xxxx = castlemaine
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx = get your elbow off the bloody keyboard!
(that probably makes me sound like a miserable old man. I'm not [most of the time...])
I've not said I love you at all frequently...it's probably tied up in the Disney ruined mind of mine that makes it ok to say for that *one special person*. That said I will say 'give me love to' from time to time when my mum goes to visit my gran or something similar. Disney ruined or not I think they are pretty special words but its up to you when to use them.
ReplyDeleteAs for the amount of xxxxxx's. They vary, I tend to put them at the end of most conversations I have though there are a few people I don't with. I'm not sure why really, it's just how it's happened. People I love to bits get lots of xxx's and there's not many of them...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
;o)