Today, I have made a mind map.
Be kind. Be patient. Be positive.
I like the idea of a blank page. A fresh start. A new approach. I don't want to make resolutions about being fitter, or eating more healthily, or having more hobbies. There are things I wish to achieve by this time next year, there are things I want to do by this time next week.
January is a gloomy month. Dark, wet, desolate. So, I'm going to be better to other people.
Be kind, lend my time, an ear. Send a letter, or a package. Meet up and make plans with friends. Give compliments, offer help, take on additional tasks. Cook meals for others, spend time in favoured company, play games together. Keep the Brownie Guide Law: a Brownie thinks of others before herself and does a good turn every day. I tell them to keep it, but do I check myself? Thinking of others is not just offering first use of the red pencil, but also considering feelings and responding appropriately to them. Empathy is a hard skill to master, but I think it starts with simply being kind.
Be patient. I am often quick to be frustrated, quick to give up, scared to try new things. Patience isn't something that comes easily to me. I do get annoyed readily, with situations as well as people. I get upset by not seeing change quickly enough, and yet tend to avoid taking small steps in the right direction. I need to remind myself to take a moment, take a breath, keep my thoughts and temperament on track and try to be better at putting things in perspective and understanding other people.
Be positive. It's easy to focus on the bad stuff, but equally, it's not actually that hard to recall all the good; to do good. It might take a bit of adjustment to natural thought processes and usual patterns but I hope that if I keep reminding myself, I might be able to make a habit of being happy.
Being happy. Really, that's the ultimate aim of most resolutions.
Showing posts with label Start. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Start. Show all posts
Wednesday, 11 January 2017
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Bonne Année
Today, I have accumulated over five years of Flitterbee.
I am forever making resolutions. Whether it’s new year,
lent, spring equinox, summer solstice, academic new year, the first of any month, start of the week or simply a sunny afternoon, I will find
reason enough for tomorrow to be a fresh start. I rarely tend to follow these resolutions through, but it's not long before a chance to amend my ways comes around again.
Generally, I think I prefer retrospective resolutions - I look back on the year, at whatever date marker I deem appropriate, and admire my achievements, even if I had not singled them out at the offset. In this way, I haven't failed. I can just remember all the things I have done, rather than what I haven't managed. There are a few things I would like to happen this year, but they are not so much resolving to change my ways as specific goals. Of course, there are always aspects that I would like to do in a general "be a better version of me" sense, but these are gradual and need greater motivation than the mere chink & cheer of glasses raised upon the welcome of the new calendar year.
I want to read more; I have a kindle now, so it is more convenient. I want to listen to different music; I need to update my digital music device. I want to write more frequently; it's been a while. I want to capture special moments; I want to make interesting memories. I want to do all of these and more, always and not just because it is new year. These are the continual aims are less measurable - "more" is harder to judge and I can't commit myself to put a discrete value on it. So, I will do what I can and see how it goes.
Happy New Year!
Flitterbox: Girls Aloud ~ No Good Advice
Flitterbook: Swimming Home ~ Deborah Levy
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
Blackberry Picking
Today, I have felt the fall chill.
It's coming to the end of summer. Start of September, you know the drill. Except, except, this year it's different. This year, for the first time in eighteen years, I will not be going back to full time education. This year, for the first time in over twenty-two years, I have no planned out path for my immediate future.
It scares the hell out of me.
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Close Chapter
Perhaps a blog is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memories of blogs will bring you home
Perhaps a blog is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memories of blogs will see you through
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memories of blogs will bring you home
Perhaps a blog is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memories of blogs will see you through
A blog to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
Three weeks
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say to blog is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say to blog is everything
And some say they don't know
Perhaps a blog is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of blogs will be of you...
To some as strong as steel
Three weeks
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say to blog is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say to blog is everything
And some say they don't know
Perhaps a blog is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of blogs will be of you...
The dawn is breaking, a light shining through...
Monday, 5 January 2009
Happy Blogday
Today, I have put on four pairs of socks.
Happy New Year!
On the jukebox: Muse ~ Feeling Good
Last night, I wore gloves in bed and there are mushrooms growing in the bathroom. I have a new butterfly diary and new dates to put in it.
Three exams, three events.
Three weeks to go. Three hundred and sixty-five days of blog been. Time, there's always time, time for two thousand and nine. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...
And I'm feeling good.
Three exams, three events.
Three weeks to go. Three hundred and sixty-five days of blog been. Time, there's always time, time for two thousand and nine. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...
And I'm feeling good.
Happy New Year!
On the jukebox: Muse ~ Feeling Good
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
Making Aquaintance
Today, I have been to freshers fayre.
"Is Jo your friend? Could you give this to her?"
I know Jo, she's the girl that lives down the hall. Is she my friend? I've only known her five days, can you really call someone a friend after five days? We've had a few conversations, it's nice to have someone to talk to, but I wouldn't really call her a friend as such, more someone I kind of know but don't really connect wit...oh you're still waiting for an answer?
"Uh, yeah, I guess..."
As eloquent as ever, I gave the answer that was expected. Yes, I did know her, as well as I knew any of the other 100 odd people I'd met that week. But I wouldn't say we were friends, just yet.
Freshers week is weird. So weird. The first day, I met Charlie. For the first few days, we were very close; completely comfortable with each other despite the fact that we were virtual strangers. Perhaps, for that reason, we were more noticable than we would have been individually. There were more rumours than I care to recall, chances are paranoia led me to believe everyone was talking. Charlie and I were everything from best friends to siblings to partners, depending on who you spoke to:
In reality, Charlie and I are very different people. We lived across the block from each other, but after the first few weeks we barely spoke, as is the case for many fresher week friendships, borne out of expediency and desperation for acceptance in an unfamiliar land. I don't miss Charlie. I miss what we were together; the excitement; the potential; the attention attracted; the initial spark of anticipation; the taste of student life to come.
Don't fall in love with me yet,
We only recently met.
"Is Jo your friend? Could you give this to her?"
I know Jo, she's the girl that lives down the hall. Is she my friend? I've only known her five days, can you really call someone a friend after five days? We've had a few conversations, it's nice to have someone to talk to, but I wouldn't really call her a friend as such, more someone I kind of know but don't really connect wit...oh you're still waiting for an answer?
"Uh, yeah, I guess..."
As eloquent as ever, I gave the answer that was expected. Yes, I did know her, as well as I knew any of the other 100 odd people I'd met that week. But I wouldn't say we were friends, just yet.
Freshers week is weird. So weird. The first day, I met Charlie. For the first few days, we were very close; completely comfortable with each other despite the fact that we were virtual strangers. Perhaps, for that reason, we were more noticable than we would have been individually. There were more rumours than I care to recall, chances are paranoia led me to believe everyone was talking. Charlie and I were everything from best friends to siblings to partners, depending on who you spoke to:
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"Oh, I thought he was your brother"
"But you know each other from home, right?"
"Oh, I thought he was your brother"
"But you know each other from home, right?"
In reality, Charlie and I are very different people. We lived across the block from each other, but after the first few weeks we barely spoke, as is the case for many fresher week friendships, borne out of expediency and desperation for acceptance in an unfamiliar land. I don't miss Charlie. I miss what we were together; the excitement; the potential; the attention attracted; the initial spark of anticipation; the taste of student life to come.
Don't fall in love with me yet,
We only recently met.
There is no way I would want to go through freshers week again. Sure, it was fun, but it was unbelievably exhausting, overwhelming, tearful and unpredictable. In writing this, I can't help but feel a twinge of nostalgia, a hint of envy, but more than that: a sense of relief.
I'm still standing, better than I ever did.
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid.
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid.
On the jukebox: Paolo Nutini ~ Last Request
Thursday, 18 September 2008
September Start
Today, I have been full of anticipation.
September is a time for a fresh start, the beginning of this month has been unofficial New Year for as long as I recall. The start to a new school semester calls for a rethink of habits, a reassesment of behaviour, and a resolved mindset to follow through into the next academic year. Currently, I am feeling more positive about the beginning of term than I have done for a long time.
I just hope this attitude can last through the rainy days.
On the jukebox: Jack Johnson ~ Do You Remember
It was obvious that Summer was on its heels at the mere mention of September. The end of August is a sign that the sun should retreat behind its cosy cloud haven and leave Britain with only memories of jolly sunnidays.
However, the end of the summer brings more than the end of sun. The start of school, the return to studentville, of living in the bizarre little world where all is incomprehensible before it occurs, normal as it happens, but odd to reminisce upon. I wouldn't want to miss out on being a student, it has provided me with many experiences that I'll never forget; opportunities I'll never regret.
University, for lots of people, is more about the overall learning experience than the academic one. Never again will we be so carefree in everything we do. There are so many things you can get away with as a student that just wouldn't be acceptable in The Real World. Yes, many students have it relatively easy compared to much of society and while there's been a lot of fun, there's been a lot worse than that, too.
September is a time for a fresh start, the beginning of this month has been unofficial New Year for as long as I recall. The start to a new school semester calls for a rethink of habits, a reassesment of behaviour, and a resolved mindset to follow through into the next academic year. Currently, I am feeling more positive about the beginning of term than I have done for a long time.
I just hope this attitude can last through the rainy days.
On the jukebox: Jack Johnson ~ Do You Remember
Friday, 18 July 2008
Turning Three
Today, I have celebrated my third anniversary.
On the jukebox: Bright Eyes ~ First Day Of My Life :o)
"Hi everyone!
This is my blog. You don't know me, yet, but if you look over the following days (or months) more about me and my life may begin to unfold as you learn about things that annoy me very much. You may laugh at some aspects or you may find it totally dull as it is about people and places you neither know nor care about. Whatever you think, feel free to leave a comment, whether you plan to make regular visits, or you are just passing through cyber space, i'd love to hear from you..."
This is my blog. You don't know me, yet, but if you look over the following days (or months) more about me and my life may begin to unfold as you learn about things that annoy me very much. You may laugh at some aspects or you may find it totally dull as it is about people and places you neither know nor care about. Whatever you think, feel free to leave a comment, whether you plan to make regular visits, or you are just passing through cyber space, i'd love to hear from you..."
Three years; four names; two sites and countless entries later, here I am. Three years has seen through a hell of a lot: painful heartache, boundless excitement, simple amusements. Three years is an awfully long time, especially in proportion to the pieces of my life that I actually remember. Three years of an almost daily diary-type publication gives a more comprehensive view of feelings present at particular moments than mere memories can manage to conjure up from scratch. I wonder what I'll think when I look back on it all in three years' time?
To you,
The ones who leave their spark,
Upon my own blog spot,
Even if it's just a small remark,
It really does mean a lot.
The ones who leave their spark,
Upon my own blog spot,
Even if it's just a small remark,
It really does mean a lot.
I'm happy
On the jukebox: Bright Eyes ~ First Day Of My Life :o)
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Spring Zing
Today, I have seen the beginnings of Springings.
Spring is sprung,
De grass is riz,
I wonder where dem birdies is?
De little birds is on de wing,
Ain’t dat absurd?
De little wing is on de bird!
Lighter days...Warmer days...Happier days...
There are only four seasons, so as much as you'd like to be, you can never be unique in your preference (though considering I have about four readers, maybe you could be the odd one out...)
Here comes the thought-provoking thought process - what's your favourite season? I say Spring. The sense of a fresh start, spring clean of old thoughts, perhaps?
Winter can be hugely depressing. Summer seems like a snatch of warm weather that is always built up to be more enjoyable with more expectations than ever transpire. Autumn is the start of a new academic year and while I love the leaves and trees, it is a reminder that Winter is around the corner.
Spring, spring brings hope. Spring starts the lingering sunny days: a subtle suggestion that, hey, maybe life aint so bad after all; a little anticipation that hey, maybe things will turn out alright...
On the jukebox: The Beatles ~ Here Comes The Sun
Spring is sprung,
De grass is riz,
I wonder where dem birdies is?
De little birds is on de wing,
Ain’t dat absurd?
De little wing is on de bird!
Lighter days...Warmer days...Happier days...
There are only four seasons, so as much as you'd like to be, you can never be unique in your preference (though considering I have about four readers, maybe you could be the odd one out...)
Here comes the thought-provoking thought process - what's your favourite season? I say Spring. The sense of a fresh start, spring clean of old thoughts, perhaps?
Winter can be hugely depressing. Summer seems like a snatch of warm weather that is always built up to be more enjoyable with more expectations than ever transpire. Autumn is the start of a new academic year and while I love the leaves and trees, it is a reminder that Winter is around the corner.
Spring, spring brings hope. Spring starts the lingering sunny days: a subtle suggestion that, hey, maybe life aint so bad after all; a little anticipation that hey, maybe things will turn out alright...
On the jukebox: The Beatles ~ Here Comes The Sun
Friday, 1 February 2008
February Febreze
Today, I have seen in the new month.
White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits.
New month, new start? That's what I said last month. (Except last month it was new year and new month, so an even bigger occasion...) January has been long. January has been dark. The fourth Monday in January is often cited as "the worst day of the year" for reasons that can be easily deduced. January has produced over forty entries of my day-to-day life. I am glad to see the back of January.
Yet why should we be waiting to make a better beginning, always? Why hold out for a defined point? I suppose it gives a opportunity for a standard measured comparision. I am holding out for the end of this week, not just because it brings the weekend, a slice of respite, but also because it holds the hope for a fresh start. So that I can look back at Feburary and say, hey, that was a successful month.
It's not always easy to see the bigger picture, and so perhaps in this case, it's better to take things day by day. Start as you mean to go on, by all means, but don't stop if you slip from what you started. So that I can look back at Today, and say, hey, that was a good day. So that I can look forward to Tomorrow and say, hey, I can make it a great day.
Here's to February, and all that it brings - birthdays, better days, love days and laughter days.
The days are getting lighter and spring is on its way.
On the jukebox: Josh Groban ~ February Song
White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits.
New month, new start? That's what I said last month. (Except last month it was new year and new month, so an even bigger occasion...) January has been long. January has been dark. The fourth Monday in January is often cited as "the worst day of the year" for reasons that can be easily deduced. January has produced over forty entries of my day-to-day life. I am glad to see the back of January.
Yet why should we be waiting to make a better beginning, always? Why hold out for a defined point? I suppose it gives a opportunity for a standard measured comparision. I am holding out for the end of this week, not just because it brings the weekend, a slice of respite, but also because it holds the hope for a fresh start. So that I can look back at Feburary and say, hey, that was a successful month.
It's not always easy to see the bigger picture, and so perhaps in this case, it's better to take things day by day. Start as you mean to go on, by all means, but don't stop if you slip from what you started. So that I can look back at Today, and say, hey, that was a good day. So that I can look forward to Tomorrow and say, hey, I can make it a great day.
Here's to February, and all that it brings - birthdays, better days, love days and laughter days.
The days are getting lighter and spring is on its way.
On the jukebox: Josh Groban ~ February Song
Sunday, 6 January 2008
Chapter 21
Today, I have started a blog.
There are two main reasons people choose to do so:
1. Self-indulgence
2. Public Interest
I suppose this is a mix of both. A release for me, mainly. An insight for you, marginally. 'You' being, of course, any people who will come aclicking to my space. Because there's someone out there, isn't there, isn't there...?
...is there?
On the jukebox: Nina Simone ~ Feeling Good
There are two main reasons people choose to do so:
1. Self-indulgence
2. Public Interest
I suppose this is a mix of both. A release for me, mainly. An insight for you, marginally. 'You' being, of course, any people who will come aclicking to my space. Because there's someone out there, isn't there, isn't there...?
...is there?
On the jukebox: Nina Simone ~ Feeling Good
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