Pecking Pain

Today, I have organised a hen do.

It is an honour, a compliment, a privilege and well…a bit of a pain. So far, I have been a bridesmaid twice, and I have been asked three more times since then. Five wedding invites; five times a bridesmaid. It is wonderful that I have such close friends who want me to be a main part of their special day. It mostly wasn’t hugely unexpected that they asked me and yes, I probably would have felt a bit slighted if I had been left out or not chosen in favour of someone else. However, on the flip side, there would have been a slight sense of relief that I could be ‘just’ a guest and not be directly involved. That I could choose what to wear, and when to arrive. That I didn’t have to play a significant part in arranging a suitable hen do.

The hen-do is the main burden of a bridesmaid, I find. Firstly, it is no longer a “hen night” or a “hen party” with a few of your closest friends. It is more often than not, an entire “hen weekend” with no less than ten girls from several different parts of your life, and parts of your personality, all brought together in a house or a hotel, a tent or a cabin in a location that is not one you have any true connection too. It is expected to cost upwards of a couple of hundred pounds per person, and that’s deemed acceptable because it’s ‘fairly standard for a hen do’. WHY?

Secondly, there’s all the activities that have to be planned. The individual catering to the preferred tastes of the bride-to-be, a full and fun-packed agenda. A morning yoga session; a champagne afternoon tea. An evening at a special restaurant, three courses and copious bottles of bubbly. Cocktail-making, dance classes, an all-you-can-eat bottomless brunch. With a dozen people attending of different ages, fitness levels, dietary requirements and personalities, it can be so difficult to try and find events to suit all, even if the ultimate aim is to ensure the bride is satisfied, she won’t have fun unless everyone is willing and involved in the weekend. Time to rest and relax is often built in at some point, but there is much focus on doing things together as a group for most of the time, after all that is what you’re there for. It’s tiring.

Thirdly, the surprise aspect. You are often expected to arrange an entire weekend event, co-ordinating a group of someone else’s friends (half of whom won’t know each other), without much assistance from the one person who links all those people together. You have to second guess what the bride will like, what she expects, will she be disappointed if something in particular is missing? Would she love to go glamping or rather have something more upmarket? Does she want to go for a night out, a few drinks at a few bars, or just a cosy nights in with games and food? Does she want the tacky ‘traditional’ tat that goes with hen parties, or prefer a classier affair?

Surely, since she’s defined you as one of her closest friends, that must mean you know all this instinctively, right? Not always. She needs to be surprised by having exactly the kind of thing she wants, without having to tell you that is what it is. And you have to agree on this with her other bridesmaids, again these could be girls you haven’t met who may have very different ideas from your own.

I have arranged three successful hen celebrations, each suited to the respective bride. They were fun, but also, exhausting and a cause of anxiety, even in the midst of the activities. I couldn’t fully enjoy the experiences as I was constantly concerned that it wouldn’t quite work out, or what might happen next, or did she expect more? Part of that is due to my own personality, I know. I am trying to arrange a fourth for this summer, for which complications are already cropping up. In a way, it is great to be involved, to be able to suggest something that I know she would love, to have the gratitude from the bride and friends at the end, for arranging a fun weekend away. To be a chosen one is a concrete affirmation of how important your friendship is to a person. Defining ‘best friends’ in a way that hasn’t been necessary since primary school. It gives a warm glow and makes attending a wedding that bit more exciting and meaningful.

I do wonder though, what it might be like to be invited to a wedding where I am not a bridesmaid. Perhaps I will find out one day?

Flitterbox: Candi Lauper ~ Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Impress Me

Today, I have been impressed.

“Impressive, though. To be in that job, married and have a baby before you’re thirty”

No.

I can’t identify quite what irks me so much about this statement. It was probably meant as a throwaway remark, a comment on the neat package of external expectations achieved by an arbitrary age but I just found it annoying that someone could be ‘impressed’ by that alone. Like, you haven’t actually ‘achieved’ much by merely marrying someone or partaking in the physical act of procreating. The person who made the comment knew nothing more of this person’s life than what is on social media. The idea that if you’ve ticked those boxes means you can turn thirty without worry is just odd, in my opinion. Besides, who knows just what the future holds…? Or indeed, the present – you don’t know the details of their situation or what was sacrificed to get there, so I can’t consider marriage and pregnancy impressive in itself without the whole picture. There are far more achievements in life that people don’t seem to recognise in the same way, perhaps because it’s something they’ve already managed, or something they have no desire to do, and I find it quite irritating on occasion.

I am impressed if you run 10 x 10km or 13.1 x 13.1 miles, or 1 x 26.2 miles, whatever your age and whatever the cause. It requires a lot of dedication and training, even if that is what you enjoy doing and especially if it's not.

I am impressed if you makeover your house on the cheap, by yourself, learning new skills in order to do so. Because it’s not always fun to do and things can go wrong, and can be stressful.

I am impressed if you volunteer. If you do a job that helps people. If you give up your own time, not because you will earn more money, but because there is someone in need and you can help them.

I am impressed if you deal with the death of a loved one, admin, emotions and all. It is hard being an adult and sometimes we suddenly have to be more grown up sooner than we ever thought we’d need to be.

I am impressed if you raise children and they are polite and kind. Having a baby itself is not the impressive thing, but being a parent is difficult sometimes and if your child is kind then you’re doing a good job.

I am impressed if you have the courage to stop being in a relationship that is not right for you and silence the expectations of society and social circles telling you to settle or stay. Breaking up is hard to do.

I am impressed if you are able to keep dating even if each one so far has been a dullard or a dick. It’s tough to find enthusiasm to constantly meet new people when chances are they may not be right for you.

I am impressed if you are able to keep genuine friends, make time to meet up with them, share stories. It is easy to let friends slip away if you don’t put the effort in.

I am impressed if you work towards a goal that requires commitment over an extended period of time. If you persevere when the going gets tough and don’t give up.

I am impressed by so many things of varying magnitudes that people around me do, but none of them involves how much you earn, whether you are married or have children and in most cases, age is irrelevant.

Flitterbox: Shania Twain ~ That Don't Impress Me Much 

Finding Fireworks

Eleven years ago, I created an account on an internet forum.

In the midst of MSN spaces, MSN messenger and mySpace, I followed a link on a blog and ended up signing up to a site where comments and conversations were no longer limited to blog posts, but could be continued in discussions and threads. I had no idea how much that place would shape my next few years.

I made friends. Honest, true-to-life friends. I know it’s like, totally normal and cool and hip now to have internet friends, but back then, I was just the weirdo who declined a night out to spend a night in with people I’d never met. When I started university, the forum was my safe haven. There are many negatives of net relationships, but one of the plus points is that they are always there, wherever you are. At a time when everything was changing and everyone I knew was either too far away, or too new to know properly, the forum was there. I just had to log on to a computer to find my friends, to laugh, to moan, to offload and to interact with ease. For a few hours, I didn’t feel so lonely.

As the years went on, the people I’d never seen became more than that. A tight-knit small community of people, varying ages and stages of life, we weren’t brought together by a common interest but somehow, it worked. We shared memories, thoughts and in-jokes. We met up with each other, across the country, once or a few times. We hugged, we chatted, we ate cake and drank tea, coffee, wine. Some of us even dated. I never expected what could come out of simply logging on a forum, once upon a time.

In time, life improved, both socially and work-wise and I didn’t need that internet crutch as much. It was still there and a comfort, like a bowl of warm soup on a cold November night, but I didn’t desperately crave it as much as before. On balance, that’s probably for the best – it makes sense to live your life in the real world, a richer and more satisfying experience overall. But I do miss them and as lame as it sounds, I am so grateful that the forum was there at the time that I needed it most. I would have got by, sure, I would have been okay, either way, but collectively, those forum members helped more than any of them individually can really know.

Eleven years. It has often seemed odd that I’ve known them longer than anyone from university and yet, for a large part, there’s so much detail I don’t know about them. We posted opinions and anecdotes but personal information was limited. With the way the internet is now, I’m sure I could find them if I wanted to, re-connect, engage in a deeper sense, become more involved in each other’s ‘real’ lives, beyond the screen. The question I keep coming back to is – do I want to do that? Do I want them to be real people? Or am I content with the way things were and are, a step removed from reality, keeping a façade to hide behind. Would we even get on if we extended our friendship outside the bounds of the web? With anonymity comes the freedom to say what you like without the direct connection to the outward perception of yourself.

How different is the person you are to people around you, to the person you present on screen?

Flitterbox: Keane ~ Somewhere Only We Know

Twosome Travels

Today, I have pondered the possibility of travelling solo.

Maybe to a European city, for a couple of nights away. Going somewhere different, doing something by myself, feeling a swell of accomplishment and sense of adulthood. I’ve known extroverts who do so and love it, for the opportunity to meet new people. I’ve known introverts who love it, for the need to be without other people. Frequently, I come to the conclusion that ultimately it’s not really something I would personally enjoy. It doesn’t seem to fit in with the main reasons I like going on holiday.

I have recently returned from Copenhagen. It is a compact city, the people were friendly and the food is expensive. I wouldn’t have enjoyed it much alone, one of the benefits of going with another person whose preferences align very much with your own is that you still mostly get to do exactly what you want, because it’s what they want to do, too.

On our first morning, as the sun was beating down and we were desperately searching for somewhere suitable to eat, we were approached by a man on a bicycle. Upon requesting a recommendation for breakfast, rather than give us directions, he took us there. We then spent the next half an hour or so sat with him in a bakery, drinking coffee and eating the treats he selected for us. Meanwhile, he marked on our map places to go and eat and visit during our trip. It was an unexpected but charming start to our holiday. Would it have happened if I were alone? Perhaps, but I may have been more wary and less open to the opportunity.

On our last morning, as the rain was spitting down and we were filled with cinnamon and cappuccinos, we went to seek the little mermaid statue. It was thoroughly underwhelming, but a sight that needed to be ticked off. Full of foreigners taking selfies, an odd representation of the modern world. What would this have been like ten years ago? We walked the route along the water to the city centre, singing our hearts out in grey daylight; a song from The Little Mermaid. Would it have happened if I were alone? Unlikely, I would have been far too self-conscious. But a pair of people singing in the rain is somehow okay.

The many hours in between were spent eating sushi, Indian food, and the famous smørrebrød, in a traditional restaurant, far from the tourist traps. We had a daily Danish pastry, walked many miles, saw the lights of Tivoli, The Bridge and activities featured in Travel Man. We also had an afternoon in our fancy apartment, eating crisps and talking about friends, relationships, hen parties, weddings, memories of previous trips. Because what is a holiday if not to allow time for relaxation? Would it have happened if I were alone? Partially, but much of my time at home is spent alone, so it’s not really worth going abroad just to do that.

Part of what I like about going away with someone else, or even a group, is the chance to spend a solid section of time with them. No chores, classes or other commitments. It gives rise to a depth of conversation and intimacy that you might not otherwise get the chance to discover in the small chunks of time usually spent in their company. It builds bonds, consolidates your relationship, gives you anecdotes to share with others and reminisce with each other. Sure, there’s the potential to get annoyed with certain characteristics, but overall the experience is a positive one, something I plan to continue for a long time.

This is not to say that I would never travel solo, but while there are the willing participants to join me, I’m in no rush to do so. Now, where to consider for our next city?

Flitterbox: The Little Mermaid ~ Part of Your World

Telly Talk

Today, I have not watched television

This is not a ban, it is not a plan, it is not something I am proud to have managed. I have not watched television because I do not own one. 

It was an unessential expense at the time I moved in and would not be a cheap choice now. I can afford a television and it was always my intent to purchase one, but given that I've survived many months without it, I am increasingly doubting that I do require one after all. 

"How...can you not have a TV? What do you do in the evening?"

That's not to say I am any less sedentary or more productive as a result. Or even that I don't watch series or programmes that are shown on television.  People seem to forget the modern convenience and technology means you don't actually need a proper TV to be able to catch-up on your wanted watching. I have a laptop, I have Netflix access, 4OD, iTV player, BBC iPlayer. Having said that, I don't tend to watch that much; I spend screen time on the internet instead, or I listen to the radio. There's so much information out there, so many people's opinions, thoughts, reviews, suggestions that you can't possibly tire of it completely. There's not much room to be bored, these days. 

A television isn't a necessity for me, but it would be handy for guests and extending social invitations. As much as I love the idea that friends come over to chat, drink, eat and play games, that's not always the case. Sharing a film or show together can be as much a bonding experience as any other way of passing time,  It would be great to be able to say "come on over, let's watch this at mine". To curl up on the sofa with duvets and popcorn and see a film together. To arrange to have a weekly wine and Strictly session. To order-in pizza and consume an entire box-set back-to-back. 

So, as the new year and January sales roll around again, I am wondering - should I bite the bullet and buy a TV? Or save £300+ and spend that on a holiday instead? 

Flitterbox: The Buggles ~ Video Killed The Radio Star
Flitterbook: The State We're In ~ Adele Parks

Twenty Fifteen

Today, I have looked back. 

Happy New Year!

In the past year:

• I have exercised. I started yoga classes, I started line-dancing. 
• I have visited UK cities: London, Liverpool, Sheffield, Chester, Brighton, Bristol
• I have travelled abroad: Berlin, Dublin, Amsterdam, America, Brussels.  
• I have lived alone, for the first time. It has been fantastic. 
• I have been on my first camp holiday with Brownies. It was so much fun. 
• I have been to see The Feeling, George Ezra and many artists at V Festival.
• I have been to see several comedy shows. Mostly hilarious, occasionally bizarre.
• I have bought a car. I have driven on my own, often, for short journeys.
• I have taken a first aid course. I have had to apply the skills in a real situation.
• I have made new friends. I have kept the old. One is silver, the other gold. 

In the upcoming year:

• I will continue to do yoga. I hope start some cardio classes, too.
• I will be going to Scotland and Germany. I hope to visit Iceland also
• I will continue with Girlguiding. I hope to complete my leadership qualification.
• I will continue to live alone. I hope to have friends over more often.
• I will be seeing Maroon 5 and Taylor Swift. I hope to see more live music.
• I will continue to go to comedy shows. I hope to go to as many as possible. 
• I will continue to drive my car. I hope to make some longer journeys. 
• I will see my friends, new and old, whenever I can. We will make plans. 

Life is good. 

My only real resolution for the year is to read more books. That ties in with controlling my screen time in so much as being conscious of when I'm spending too much time on screen and forcing myself to take a break and read a book instead. 

Flitterbook: The Year I Met You ~ Cecelia Ahern 

Flitterbox: Nick Drake ~ Northern Sky

Aux Bruxelles

Today, I have been recovering. 

The weekend began with a rush-hour train to London and a brisk walk to St. Pancras station. A glass of Merlot, train supplies from M&S and a half-hour delay later, we were on our way to Belgium. Prosecco, crisps and olives helped the journey pass quite pleasantly. 

Upon arrival in Brussels, we were met by our friend, a UK diplomat on a two-year secondment. Back at his apartment, the wine flowed along with the catch-up chat, before we headed to bed for a well-earned rest. A lazy morning with home-cooked breakfast (scrambled eggs and mushrooms on toast, fresh orange juice) was followed by a trip to the busy, busy Christmas market et beaucoup de vin chaud. C'etait bien.  After some tartiflette and a sit-down, we headed back to change for the evening. Genuis graduate professionals that we are, we thought it would be clever to squeeze five adults in an ancient apartment building lift. We just managed to close the doors. It was not a good idea. We got stuck. Half a floor up.

Yikes. 

If you've never got stuck in a lift before, but wondered how it would feel, what would you do; I'm not sure I can say. For the first minute, it was...it's fine, it will be okay. Just press the button again. Press the other button. There wasn't panic, but it was tense. It was stuffy. Did I mention we only just managed to squeeze in? It was tight. Press the call button. Is it ringing? No. Do we have signal? No. Press the alarm...is that someone coming? Are they talking to us?  

There was someone. He called the maintenance company. We forced open the lift doors and he opened the door. We had air. We had a friendly Flemish face, speaking fluent English. The maintenance had been informed. Trente minutes. Thirty minutes, shoulder to shoulder with four other people. We manged to take off our coats, one at a time, and pass them up to him. He stayed with us, he laughed with us, he took photos of us and half an hour passed quite quickly, considering the circumstances. We didn't consider what might happen if something went wrong; if there were further delays, if there were problems. If he couldn't get us out. 

We got out. Forty five minutes waiting then 5 mins of being winched manually back down to the ground floor. What a relief to be out. What an ordeal to deal with, in a foreign country. But we were okay, we were with friends. We survived. 

Later, we went to see the light show at Grand Place, which was fantastic. We went out for dinner and drinks, both delicious. If I were a true blogger, this entry would be filled with photos of the rest of the weekend and not a story documenting my own stupidity. But, the memories we make are built from the less than ordinary moments.

It was a good weekend. I would have liked to see more of the city, I would have liked to have a waffle. But when the Eurostar is less than 3 hours and under £70 return, there's plenty of chance for me to go again one day. 

I might take the stairs next time. 

Flitterbox: Coldplay ~ Christmas Lights

Baby Born

Today, I have felt old.

One of my close friends gave birth yesterday. A little chubby cherub. I don't know quite how to feel about this. For the last half of this year, I have known she was pregnant. Six months seems like it's a long enough time to get used to the idea, especially with an ever-increasing bump presented in front of me. Yet somehow, it's still so strange. 

It's the first of my friends to have a baby. It wasn't planned or expected, but it happened and now she's a real person in the real world and one of my school mates is a Mum. It's weird. None of my friends are even husbands or wives, let alone parents, so to have a mum among us makes it extra peculiar. 

We're growing up. I am aware, it will be a snowball effect. This was accidental, outside of the usual course of things but in a few years' time, one by one and all at once, people will be getting pregnant on purpose. I will be gulping at the extortionate expense allocated for sequential hen-dos, all happening within a months of each other. I feel like we are quite in limbo at the moment, at this age. There are careers, there are long-term boyfriends, there are mortgages, but there are no marriages or families. All of that is soon to come, has now started, and the anticipation makes me slightly anxious. Who will end up tying the knot; who will end up breaking up? Who will be the next to get pregnant? Will the baby's parents' relationship survive on this tiny thread of life which it has developed around? What will change in six months' time? Where will we be in five years' time?

Where do I belong forever, in whose arms, the time and place?

Flitterbox: Avril Lavigne ~ My World

Virtually Friends

Today, I have commented. 

I feel strange remarking on the social media-made statements of friends with whom I used to go to school, because we no longer speak. I know she got married, I know she's expecting a baby, I know where she lives. But we don't chat, we weren't even close at school, we had a few lessons together, a few mutual friends but not much more than that. So to comment on something that she has said seems like I'm annoucing my presence in her life again...we're 'friends', we are vaguely aware that we 'follow' each others words and pictures, but to publicly acknowledge it? That's weird. 

Yet when it comes to commenting on blogs of people I don't know, have never met, have only clicked on through something else, I have no problem saying - "that's cool!" showing my gratitude or just agreeing with their views on a subject. I mostly lurk, so sometimes I do feel a bit funny commenting as if I know the person when the only information they may have about me is my IP address. But I still do it, under the cover of the internet anonymity blanket, where despite how easy it is to know almost everything about someone just through reading and searching, it is also so easy to know them for so long without knowing much at all. 

It's a month until Christmas.

Flitterbox: Walk Off The Earth + Julia Nunes ~ Some Nights
Flitterbook: The Year I Met You ~ Cecelia Ahern 

Hollandaise Holidays

Today, I have put on my winter slippers.

Amsterdam was wonderful. It was like stepping out into a sunny film set every day, a scene manufactured to look like a quaint European city, except this was no Disneyland, this was real-life. The flowing canals with open-top boats chugging along in the afternoon sun, the cyclists trundling merrily across the cobbled streets on their way to work or play. We were so lucky with the weather, like summer had chosen to stay on longer, especially for our September break, and only now can it fall into Autumn.

Cheese tasting came highly recommended and didn't disappoint. My experience may have been influenced by the tall, blonde, fluent-in-three-languages Californian man who led the session, but it was also good value and felt authentically Dutch (apart from the American staff member...). It was interesting to learn about cheese-making and keeping and tastes and smells and consistency and differences, so yummy. I also learnt how to pronounce Gouda ("kHow-da") and damn, the wine was good.

From wine tasting to free wine at Boom Chicago. Comedy was not something I'd considered before arrival in the city, but we were urged to go by a representative whilst waiting in a queue for Anne Frank House, and it was better than I expected. The improv scenes and general set-up of the show were unlike anything I'd seen on stage before. It was quirky, funny and unusual; a great way to spend a couple of hours in the evening.

It was such a relaxing trip, we didn't rush about at all. We meandered, wandering back and forth along the canals, eating gelato or sitting in the park, soaking up the sun, the atmosphere and architecture; catching some street entertainment; practising yoga poses on the plein; browsing in a kitsch shop on a side alley. Amsterdam is a place to which I'd be happy to return, to live or to visit. The people were friendly and accommodating, the food was delicious and the whole place just felt cosy and comfortable. Gezelligheid.

Flitterbox:  Charlie XCX ~ Boom Clap

Flitterbook: The Road to Rouen ~ Ben Hatch 

Funny Times

Today, I am going to see a comedy show. 

It's not so much a sign of my age as a sign of myself that I would rather go to a comedy show than a club night out. I would have done the same when I was turning eighteen, the main difference is that it is now more socially acceptable to do so.

Flitterbox: Abba ~ Dancing Queen 

American Boy

Today, I have smiled like I mean it.

On this day, 5 years ago, I met my first internet friend in the flesh, 3 and a half years to the day that we first made acquaintance through blogs. I told no-one. 

Today, 5 years later, the friend is married with a daughter, and a son on the way. How things change.

I hope that, one day, I will meet this baby boy and his older sister. I hope that I have the courage to do so, because there's never going to be the 'right' time to fly across the ocean by yourself to stay with a couple you've only met once before and children that you've only ever seen on Skype.

We shall see.

Flitterbox: The Killers ~ Andy You're A Star - bloody love this album
Flitterbook: Andrew's Brain ~ E.L. Doctorow

Sept Ans

Today, I have accumulated seven years of blog.

So, I've got the itch to blog. To mark this day in the only way I can - online.

It's been a while. I got into the game a lot earlier than most people I know. The internet used to be just a place to find out things, not "Find Friends" as social networking sites suggest that I do, every time I log in. I never used to be all that open about forming friendships online, in fact, I still don't tend to talk about it because unless you give an acceptable context, many people would still find it strange. It is strange.

In this modern world of a working girl, I have no friends that I see particularly regularly: on a daily, or even weekly basis. Most of my close friends live in a different locality to me; trains are a pain and travel is awkward. You don't take a two hour round trip, just to sit for an evening in front of a TV with someone. So I don't see most of my friends all that often, no doubt the meetings will dwindle further as people do the growing up thing - get married, get mortages, get munchkins. Our interaction is largely limited to a virtual presence and how is that all that different from people with whom I initially began interaction that way? 

Vingt-Quatre

Today, I have accumulated over two dozen years of life.

My twenty-fourth year was a good one. I got a graduate role, finally, after a year of limbo. I met people from the internet, finally, after many years of on-line acquaintance. I made new friends; I did new things. I am so glad  that I do not have exams. I am so glad that I am not unemployed. I am ostensibly content, to a certain extent.

My twenty-fourth birthday was a good one. I met up with the girls for brunch; we painted nails in the sunshine and it was fun. Then we went for coffee & cake, and chatted about boys and chocolate. It was the most I've laughed in a long while; we giggled ridiculously over stupid things, acting like the fourteen year-old school kids that we once were.

It's weird being an adult. My job isn't ideal; my career path is unclear. I do not know where I will be when I turn twenty-five, but I'm fairly satisfied with the way this year has turned out.

Flitterbox: Florrie Arnold ~ Sunday Girl

Meating Out

Two days.
Three plates; four places; five faces.
It was aces.

Meal One: bean burrito with sweet potato fries and sparkling conversation

It was kind of peculiar but not in a pinpointable way. We met as arranged and I was scanned from head to toe, as if being seen for the first time. It's been a while. A short walk, a sit-down and few bites later, it was all flowing easily in a not entirely unexpected manner. No topic was left uncovered as we smoothly sailed through politics, sex, money, education and religion like a raspberry dream with a side of ice-cream. It was delightful. The afternoon was quite enjoyable and full of sunshine, with banter of blonde moments; a sighting of sequinned singers; a frisson of fabric and uncomplicated chatter of relationships, men, women, how the world is all beautifully - sometimes surprisingly - interconnected. We arrived at a general conclusion that many people are unfortunately terribly ignorant. Luckily, we are exempt...

Czech Point

It snowed. It was freezing. It was fantastic. 

We sauntered along cobbled streets like we were living in a movie set. We sat for hours in warm cafés, watching the world pass by. We ate a lot of food, mainly breakfasts consisting of multiple courses, but also cake and croissants and crisps and a candlelit dinner, cruising along the river by night, drinking in all the sights, as well as all the wine, swinging to the soothing melodies. Jazz! In a city that is crazy about that genre of music, jazz was everywhere, which made me grin lots. I wouldn't say I was an avid jazz fan, but I'm partial to a bit of Peggy Lee or Michael Bublé on occasion. So we went on a jazz boat (free glass of red wine!) and we went to a jazz club (free glass of white wine!) and we listened to a couple of live jazz bands and generally took a lot of photos that featured all that jazz. It was amazing. We also went to see a black light theatre production - intriguing at best; terrifying at worst. Imagine, on the stage, there's some glow-in-the-dark human-sized spiders. Okay, so now imagine that they climb over the seats and over the audience and attack you. Imagine that you have this strange foreign person in a spider costume and black balaclava grabbing your arm and hovering in your face. A bizarre and scary experience, I can tell you. The rest of the time, we explored extensively, by foot, metro, tram and bus, though sadly not by segway. The castle, especially, was a sight not to be missed, offering incredible architecture as well as views across the land. I had so much fun, with all the cake-eating and show-seeing and coffee-sipping and wine-consuming and spa-relaxing and of course, TLDG!

But now, I've been back a fortnight and it's February already and I have no money to spend on any luxuries for the foreseeable future, at least. However, if someone fancies whisking me off on an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, Rome, or even Stockholm, well, I wouldn't say no...

Flitterbox: Joss Stone ~ L-O-V-E

Glass Houses

I don't quite remember when I first met Billy, or how. But somehow, we kept bumping into each other and then there was never enough time to talk as there was always somewhere else to be and so, eventually, we met up for tea (we both really like tea) and chatted there instead. Billy likes tea with two sugars. I have none. This is something we have always disagreed upon. Billy and I have a rather tempestuous relationship and perhaps that's because we are both complicated people with complicated feelings and perhaps that's because we're both quite similar in some respects. Or because we're complete polar opposites. It's a fine line.

Online Exploration

"Imagine you're exchanging emails with a guy online, and he seems really funny and charismatic and you feel like you click, then you meet up for a date and he speaks like...he has special needs"

A friend on her first foray into internet dating. It's funny, because her account of the date began with this sentence and I can completely relate to the first part of it. I know what it's like to speak to people online who appear witty and chatty and clever...I just haven't had the opportunity to see whether that transpires to reality and whether I would receive the same surprise in person.

Snow Patrol

I'm snow excited.

I have got packing down to a fine art...well, almost. I still do the panic shove-it-in-just-case part ("...what if I can't live without this particular pair of leggings for three whole days!?"), but I'm getting better. This is what comes from flitting away every other week or fortnight or so. I am set up for an awesome couple of months, with music and mates and staying out late and other such stuff that I've been so bereft of lately. Snow or no snow, I are go, whatever the weather and I'm crossing all my fingers for no travel disruptions and smooth operations. It's pretty but when all your friends and things live so far away and you're planning trips that cost a fair bit of money and effort, you kind of hope that a bit of frozen water doesn't completely devastate your endeavours. In contrast with last weekend, once I arrive, I'll be spending most of the time in a cosy countryside manor, with mulled wine and mince pies and piano-playing and a three course "rustic autumn" themed meal which sounds absolutely wonderful and all home-made so that's fantastic. We'll meet, we'll reminisce, we'll hug and maybe we'll kiss and that'll open up a whole other can of fish. Delish.

Who knows? Let it go its own way. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Flitterbox: David Bowie ~ Let's Dance

Butterfly Heart

What a wonderful weekend.

It snowed and so we went to a butterfly farm!!! From sub-zero to sub-tropical temperatures in an instant, surrounded by fantastic colours and creatures. Amazing! Then we ate a divine meal at lovely restaurant and popped into a music shop, where my presence was completely legitimised by my drum-playing companion, and I could secretly check out the plectrum collection for further earring creations and wonder whether I should pick up my instrument again and re-learn the fingers so I can play songs from a few of my favourite things. The cold weather guided us towards tea for two and hot cake in the afternoon like proper posh peoples, innit darhlin'. After painting nails, a few slices of pizza and planning a trip abroad, we dressed up and ventured out and spoke in faux accents and downed shots of tropical cocktail, poured from a teapot. It was fabulous and we made a toast with each sip in a kind of Thanksgiving way, whilst commenting on any groups or individuals that fell in our eyeline. Clink, clink, drink, drink, wink, wink. Then we danced and laughed and fist-pumped and jumped about until it was time to go home. It was ace and sadly served to confirm my feelings that boy and girl can not just be friends in the way that girl and girl are Just Friends.

But maybe that's okay.

Flitterbox: Razorlight ~ Vice