Wrapping Words

I want to wrap my words

around your mind

and let them linger there.

I want to stitch a speech

that slips into your heart

when you least expect it.

I want to flick lace-edged phrases

across your eager eyes

so you can feast upon

the literary delights from my

treasure chest of clichés.

But I can't.

Flitterbox: Feist ~ Secret Heart

Working Girl

Five years ago, I started university.

This year has been an interesting one. It's been so far removed from the preceding four that I've almost forgotten what it's like to be a student! Do I miss university? I'm not quite sure how to answer that question; it already feels forever ago and perhaps I do miss it in wistful moments of reminiscence. But it's not university itself, really, more the individual people and specific experiences that I remember and there's been many aspects I've been grateful to get rid of, or at least not felt that affected by their absence.

Confetti Confessions

This is the first year where people I actually know, beyond a passing connection, are getting hitched and boy, there's a fair few of them. It's so weird, but I suppose you just kind of accept it. Some are older than me (though not by much!) but several are the same age, or younger. It seems 2011 is the year to get married.

Meating Out

Two days.
Three plates; four places; five faces.
It was aces.

Meal One: bean burrito with sweet potato fries and sparkling conversation

It was kind of peculiar but not in a pinpointable way. We met as arranged and I was scanned from head to toe, as if being seen for the first time. It's been a while. A short walk, a sit-down and few bites later, it was all flowing easily in a not entirely unexpected manner. No topic was left uncovered as we smoothly sailed through politics, sex, money, education and religion like a raspberry dream with a side of ice-cream. It was delightful. The afternoon was quite enjoyable and full of sunshine, with banter of blonde moments; a sighting of sequinned singers; a frisson of fabric and uncomplicated chatter of relationships, men, women, how the world is all beautifully - sometimes surprisingly - interconnected. We arrived at a general conclusion that many people are unfortunately terribly ignorant. Luckily, we are exempt...

XX III

It is a fact I am wont to forget, that while life at the moment has its downsides, at least I do not have to revise. I do not have to write a 40-60 page dissertation. I do not have to perform a 15 minute presentation. I do not have to pretend to read 75+ scientific papers. I do not have to spend 9 hours a day skipping between 2 windowless laboratories and a dingy computer room. I do not have to demonstrate my knowledge from the last 4 years to 3 strangers in 20 minutes. I do not have to sit in silence for 3 hours and answer 5 out of 6 questions. This is the first time in over 7 years that I do not have formal summer examinations. 

I wish good luck to those who still do. 

It's a beautiful birthday*

Flitterbox: The Little Mermaid ~ Under The Sea

*apart from the fact that blogger deleted this entry, so I had to type it all out again from memory. Grr.

Curriculum Vitae

Ficklety Bee

Age: nearly twenty-three

Destination: unknown

Experience

Maid

Perform typical domestic chores such as cooking, ironing, washing, cleaning and tidying the house, grocery shopping, walking the family dog, and generally taking care of mental and physical needs of the household members. This entails catering daily for three different dietary requirements and dealing with the relentless mess that is produced by a family.

Mediator

Frequently act as an adjudicator in disputes within the group. A part of this role involves a debrief with each party in which they let off steam about the other. Requires listening patiently and acknowledging problems, whilst trying to avoid further confrontation.

Mentor

A source of support for younger students and peers, offering help with tuition and advice on educational and social issues, including those involving friends and relationships.

Manager

Capable of sorting out everybody's life but my own, apparently.

Miscellaneous
Achieved a science degree once, but basically flirted my way through, so that's hardly worth mentioning.

 I also excel in the tea-and-cake-making department.

I can has job, plz?

Flitterbee: Mandy Moore ~ When Will My Life Begin

Sticky Threads

Flitterbox: Snow Patrol ~ Signal Fire

Steel Bites

Ever since I was little, I've been eating steel. You know those things you do without really giving a second thought? Rather than trying to face the fear of doing something, I get someone else to sort it out for me and  I swallow a bit of steel. Steel doesn't taste nice, it's a bit like guilt, regret and disappointment mixed into a bite-sized ball bearing, but in exchange, I get something I need or want so it kind of feels like it's worth it and I don't concern myself over the consequences it might have later down the line.

As I say, I've been eating small, controlled portions of steel for a while now and, as you should know, steel is magnetic. So, any time someone gives me a bit of steel, I will become more affected by their magnet. They are likely to be aware of this fact, but it's not deliberate and it's not malicious, it's just one of the common laws of science. From a simple viewpoint, it seems that the more steel I eat, the more rewards I get but it comes at the price, in that it's hard to detach myself from their field of influence. This inability to take control over my own position and pathway can be severely problematic and becomes worse the longer I let it go on.

Fishy Wishes

"If it were not for hopes, the heart would break."

In my experience, if a guy wants something from you, he'll go for it.

If he wants to kiss you, he'll try to do so. If he wants your number, he'll get it, if he wants you to have his, he'll give it. If he wants to go on a date with you he'll hint, he'll ask, he'll ask again. If he wants to spend time with you, he'll travel across the country for just an evening together, he'll rearrange his plans to make sure there's time, he'll be enthusiastic if you suggest meeting up.

In my experience, if he wants it, he'll make the move to get it.

Otterly Odd

"We should meet up more often"

We met by the penguins, it was quite fitting. Sort of awkward at first, but once the ice was broken, the quips were served and as we passed by the monkeys, we were well into the swing of things. It was weird, but not in an obvious way. Much of the time, we found ourselves falling in step as a pair, behind the rest of the group and conversation flowed easily and enjoyably. There were a few smart remarks that left an impression, but no blood was drawn. After the camels came Camden, complete with chips, caps, cupcake corsets and cocktails. Unfortunately, train strikes called for an early end to the events; I accepted the offer of a walk to the station. While we'd been together and talking about all sorts for most of the day, the five minute stroll was the first time we'd spent together without the others within reach. Questions were ventured. Cheeks were flustered. Answers were not forthcoming. It was weird, in an obvious way. 

"It was nice to see you again"

We hugged. Holding tighter than necessary, but not for long enough. A squeeze of the arm and a brush of the fingertips and that was it. That was that. 

What was that?

Flitterbee: Damien Rice ~ The Blower's Daughter

Clocking Time

I wake up with cold feet.

It's 5.18am and I can't drift off back into slumber. Silently, I lie: worn out, yet wide awake. After twenty minutes or so, I switch on the radio and listen idly until an acceptable waking hour arrives and the world starts to stir. I get up and make a cup of tea.

Disco Cake

Yesterday, I was sad.

So, I baked purple coconut cupcakes.

Then, I danced around like a ungainly lunatic.

I felt slightly better. 

Flitterbox: Groove Armada ~ I See You Baby

Czech Point

It snowed. It was freezing. It was fantastic. 

We sauntered along cobbled streets like we were living in a movie set. We sat for hours in warm cafés, watching the world pass by. We ate a lot of food, mainly breakfasts consisting of multiple courses, but also cake and croissants and crisps and a candlelit dinner, cruising along the river by night, drinking in all the sights, as well as all the wine, swinging to the soothing melodies. Jazz! In a city that is crazy about that genre of music, jazz was everywhere, which made me grin lots. I wouldn't say I was an avid jazz fan, but I'm partial to a bit of Peggy Lee or Michael Bublé on occasion. So we went on a jazz boat (free glass of red wine!) and we went to a jazz club (free glass of white wine!) and we listened to a couple of live jazz bands and generally took a lot of photos that featured all that jazz. It was amazing. We also went to see a black light theatre production - intriguing at best; terrifying at worst. Imagine, on the stage, there's some glow-in-the-dark human-sized spiders. Okay, so now imagine that they climb over the seats and over the audience and attack you. Imagine that you have this strange foreign person in a spider costume and black balaclava grabbing your arm and hovering in your face. A bizarre and scary experience, I can tell you. The rest of the time, we explored extensively, by foot, metro, tram and bus, though sadly not by segway. The castle, especially, was a sight not to be missed, offering incredible architecture as well as views across the land. I had so much fun, with all the cake-eating and show-seeing and coffee-sipping and wine-consuming and spa-relaxing and of course, TLDG!

But now, I've been back a fortnight and it's February already and I have no money to spend on any luxuries for the foreseeable future, at least. However, if someone fancies whisking me off on an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, Rome, or even Stockholm, well, I wouldn't say no...

Flitterbox: Joss Stone ~ L-O-V-E

Glass Houses

I don't quite remember when I first met Billy, or how. But somehow, we kept bumping into each other and then there was never enough time to talk as there was always somewhere else to be and so, eventually, we met up for tea (we both really like tea) and chatted there instead. Billy likes tea with two sugars. I have none. This is something we have always disagreed upon. Billy and I have a rather tempestuous relationship and perhaps that's because we are both complicated people with complicated feelings and perhaps that's because we're both quite similar in some respects. Or because we're complete polar opposites. It's a fine line.

Lying Down

I like lying down. I do it whenever I get the chance and I have someone crazy enough to join in the game with me - The Lying Down Game. You may have heard of it.

Here's the deal: lie down, face to the ground, arms by your side, feet perpendicular to the floor and get someone to take a photo of the position. The more interesting the surroundings, the better the shot, but you can do it literally anywhere you fancy. 

Espresso Expression

I like tea. I drink an awful lot of it. But somehow, recently, with neither effort nor intent, I’ve found that I’ve become a coffee convert?! This troubles me somewhat.

It all began whilst on a short break in Europe. The climate was so cold, I initially drank coffee as a mere body-warming and brain-waking tool – frothy cappuccinos and creamy caramel lattes from a cosy sofa-filled café are too delicious to resist when it’s snowing outside and you’ve been on your feet for hours. I would have usually opted for tea, naturally, but on the continent there wasn’t always that choice available, or at least not to the same standard that I’d have in England. So, before I knew it, my tongue grew accustomed to the alternative and I started to crave coffee constantly: a comfort for frozen fingers; a wake-up buzz; a boost for weary bones; a specific desire for the unique taste that I had seemingly acquired without even realising.

Flitter Cappertilla

You know, when you're little and you think that if you put your hands over your eyes that no-one can see you? Well, I feel a bit like that today. I want to pull my bitter brown blanket over my curled-up body and tired eyes and shy away from everything, hoping that by hiding myself from the world, the world will go away. I want to be cocooned for a few days, weeks, months and emerge later on, refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to fly out into the future.

Like a butterfly.

Flitterbox: 6 Day Riot ~ Every Third Sunday

Six Months

I miss my sis. 

A happy new year, please.

Flitterbox: Bill Withers ~ Aint No Sunshine