Seasonal Sunshine

Today, I have felt the sun of spring.

Daffodowndilly

She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,

She wore her greenest gown;

She turned to the south wind

And curtsied up and down.

She turned to the sunlight

And shook her yellow head,

And whispered to her neighbour:

"Winter is dead".

A. A. Milne

The Equinox has passed; the clocks have been put forward; the days are getting much lighter; hibernation is over.

It's official. Spring 2008 is here. And so am I.

On the jukebox: The Temptations ~ My Girl

Switching Sides

Today, I have a split personality. 

Well, that's not exactly true. It's not been split today, it's been one side of it. It's so easy to slip into that which I once knew as all I knew. Here and there. It's funny, how uni-life can seem like a parallel universe. In considering how it is back there, it seems like an age ago, a completely separate era of my life. It's only been a fortnight.

In a couple more weeks, it will flip again. It will go back to being labs, lecture, library, lecture, labs - that will just as easily become the norm, the transistion is almost seamless. That's why I have to take a hold of my conscience and appreciate the here and now. It's good to feel relaxed, but sometimes, I'll get annoyed and think I'm missing the freedom and autonomy, spontaneity and open opportunities of busy busy uni buzz, compared to the restrictions and monotony, planned organisation of quiet home time. I probably am, to a certain extent.  

But I do like being here. Homesickness is a hard aspect to quantify. Of course, there'll be times at uni that I wish I could get away from it all and hop back home, but most of the time, I manage okay, I'm not too bothered, it's just another day. A different day; a different me. There is a change in my personality when I go to uni. After a little bit more than a year and a half, while I have many good friends, I don't feel much of a closeness to most people, really. I suppose for some people it just takes more time, I'm getting there...

On the jukebox: A1 ~ Same Old Brand New You

Musical Memory

Today, I have been unable to read music.

Musical ability isn't something that tends to crop up in conversation very often. Sure, we talk about singles and albums and bands and such, but in terms of actually playing a musical instrument or being able to read music, that's not something I could judge of many of my friends. I wonder, upon being told that someone played an instrument, could you tell which one it was? In a rare fleeting mention of musical instruments last year and I revealing my main weapon of skill, someone commented,

"Yeah, you seem like the [insertinstrument] type."

For this reason, I'd be interested to see if you could guess correctly which instrument I speak of (though some readers may already know), and what does the choice of instrument say about a person?

Again, it often comes down to avaliability of opportunities and the type of person someone is. I would not describe myself as particulary musically inclined. I'd like to be able to play music properly, but despite over seven years of private music tution for three different musical instruments, it's shameful how little I have to show for that today.

Now, having vowed to just play a few tunes every now and again, I haven't touched my main instrument since I stopped having lessons. I looked at a simple piece of music the other day, and I realised, I have forgotten what the notes mean. I don't know B from F#; I wouldn't be able to tell the key; I doubt I could even place my hands appropriately. People say it's like learning to ride a bike, or even, learning to read - something that once you learn, you never forget. I wonder if it would all come rushing back to me, that I'm just a bit rusty and after a polish-up, I'd be able to distinguish the crochets on the lines and interpret correctly. I don't know, I haven't tried. It's unfortunate that it's come to this, and while I'm sure my cognitive and cerebral development have vastly improved as a result of playing music in my younger years, it does make me wonder - seven years of learning, I can no longer read music, and I don't even hold the evidence to prove that I once could!? What was the point of those many weeks of misery...?

I reflect too much when I don't have much else to do.

On the jukebox: Edvard Grieg Jerusalem Orchestra ~ In The Hall Of The Mountain King

Slow Motion

Today, I have felt phased out. 

It's weird. It's obvious you're being deliberately avoided, but neither party really comments on it. Until, a few years down the line, you're pruning your facebook friends, and on the "How Do You Know So-and-so?", you feel it's now appropriate to tick the "I Don't Even Know This Person" box.

It's weird. It's remembered that once upon a time, you spent most waking moments with them, once upon a time, you were possibly considered their best friend. You know where they live, what they're doing with their lives, but you don't know them really at all, anymore.

It's weird. This point in my path, feeling so in limbo, somehow. Disconnected and not tied down to anywhere or anyone, really. Sometimes, I wonder what it will be like when we reach the next stage of life. It's all very well while there's uni as the structure. Holidays stretch flexibly across weeks. Summer lasts for months on end. We'll go our separate ways for a while, but there's always a chance to meet up, right? But what happens when we get real lives; when we get jobs; when we get children? A reunion every couple of years or so? Is there any point when we share no common ground, except history? 

It's weird. Sometimes, I feel like the world is moving past too fast and I've missed a link somewhere. Sometimes, I wonder, how long can we still do this for?

It's weird. It's a weird world. 

On the jukebox: Frou Frou ~ Hear Me Out

Distance Difference

Today, I have a lack of autonomy.

"Do you wanna come out tonight?"

At uni:

"Sure, I'll see you later!"

-4 min walk to friend's house

-5 min taxi journey to town

At home:

"Um, ar, I don't know, I have to check about getting there n times n stuff..."

-grovel, grovel, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl to parents for a "lift for the fourth time this fortnight, half an hour out of your way, at ridiculous times of the evening, pleasums?"

Sometimes, I wish I didn't feel so far away from everyone else.

On the jukebox: Lutricia McNeal ~ Stranded 

High Class

Today, I have thought about socioeconomic* status. 

It's fair to say, I had a reasonably sheltered life before coming to university. I won't expand on my experiences too much, but I'm pretty sure you can gather some assumptions from the way I write; what I write about.  Generally, I find, people from similar backgrounds tend to seek eachother out as a state of friendship that they are comfortable and familiar with. 

Since attending uni, I have been exposed to suprisingly different types of people along with the way they lived their lives before I knew them.  Of the people in my house, there is a ex-comprehensive school student; an ex-grammar school student; an ex-private school student; an international student. I wonder could you place us correctly just by knowing us? 

It's weird, hearing some of the school stories, things I couldn't imagine ever occuring within my educational establishment. It's such a contrast to what I'd known previously and while there's sometimes the sense of feeling like the odd one out, it is interesting to discover the difference in views and values, history and way of life. Sometimes, I find the stark differences in upbringing somewhat incredulous and while I do think it is important to have some idea of how other people live, and be able to cope effectively within different social set-ups, at the end of the day, people I prefer to associate with tend to be the people who have a similar frame of reference to myself, that is where I feel I fit in.

Finding friends you feel you fit in with isn't always easy, or immediately apparant upon first encounter. I have never made such blanket statements as "I only want to be friends with private school people" as I have heard others do, as it seems absurd to rule people out based on one factor. Indeed, like I mentioned, you can't always tell. But people do make their own assumptions, based on the way people talk or what they wear or what part of the country they come from. You can't avoid the prevalence of stereotypes, and to be fair, often they can be shown to be true in many cases.

At this point, I find myself beginning to contradict myself, which I feel is often a good place to stop as it probably means I've lost sight of the point that was being made in the first place. Anyway, if you can make any sense of a discussion in that, feel free to share your views...

On the jukebox: Billy Joel ~ Uptown Girl

*Ha, like I know what that actually means...

Study Situation

Today, I have printed off exam papers.

"You know that's not the same as actually answering the questions, right?"

It's a start. 

Alors, revision commences... 

...tomorrow. For now, it's bedward. 

On the jukebox: Dusty Springfield ~ Wishin' and Hopin'

Sticky Situations

Today, I have tread through tangled thoughts. 

"You spend a lot of time together, you obviously get on well"

"Are they going out?"

"Let's face the facts - you just match, you know it makes sense"

It's annoying. Because anything that might have been is tainted by the constant intercession of spectators. No, we're not going out, no, we can't spend a minute alone without you speculating wildly and so we never get any chance to even see if anything might progress, and it becomes embarrasing. And then I feel even worse if anything doesn't, because everyone's lead me to believe it was true. 

"I've always though there was something going on between you"

"Are they going out?"

"Obviously, you must speak outside of what we see"

"You do like him, I can tell"

You don't know. Stop, stop, stop. Because it makes it even less likely, and is just getting hopes up unnecessarily because when you talk that way, he thinks that I think like that and then backs away, slowly, 'cause there's nothing worse than someone who obsesses in such a manner. Then I overcompensate and it all ends up in a big fat mess of wasted words, or worse, a big fat balloon of empty air. 

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"You and he are getting awfully close"

"Are they going out?"

*push, push, nudge, shove, wink, drink*

It's fun to be the centre of attention. But when rumours spread far and fast and the only gossip worth knowing concerns you, it can tend to grate a little and poison any chance of further interaction for fear that it'll be all you hear about for the next few weeks with added exaggerations that you can't control. 

Well, I'm not saying I don't do my bit to initiate and fuel the fire. But boy, how it messes up the mind. People can lead you to believe things which simply aren't true, just by suggestion, or repetition. Flattery is a big part of it, and while I could let it be at that, my mind wanders to the truth I could fantasise, and it builds up to something which no-one can see, which isn't real, but seems so plausible in my head. It may be a bit of harmless banter at first, but I tend to overestimate and overcomplicate situations such as this, and once an idea has been planted in my head, it stays there for a long time. 

Maybe I'm not making much sense. I just wish I didn't screw things up so readily and could calm the hot-headed rushed desire to run away at the first sign of a new possibility. Argh. I'm just pissed off with the intangible tangle of thoughts tauntingly travelling round and round the merry-go-round in my head. I'm annoyed. And when I get this annoyed, it's probably a sign that I should do some work, or see somebody, or or just stop overthinking stupid things and do something about it.

On the jukebox: Kelly Clarkson ~ Walk Away

Good Times

Today, I have kept up with old friends. 

Gee, I miss just hanging out. The movie nights-in with pizza & popcorn and home before midnight, yet still managing to fit in several hours of continuous contact time with chattage included! Those were the days, eh!? Uni just isn't the same. 

On the one hand, I'm glad that we're still close enough to be able to have that sort of impromptu small gathering without it feeling awkward. On the other hand, I wish we had the chance to do it more often. 

It's a sad, sad situation. I miss spending extended lengths of time together. I wish we had the time for truths only 4am and the cover of darkness can bring to the surface. I wish we had more time for fun that didn't need to involve alcohol. I wish we had more time to just be ourselves, be young, act silly, breed laughter. 

I wish we had more time to be happy. 

On the jukebox: Toy Story ~ You've Got A Friend In Me

Fundamental Faith

Today, I have been to church.

Generally, I prefer not to talk about religion. Often, I find it futile to speak of such values, since usually, I find that most people are unwilling to alter their views one way or another. To a certain extent, I admire the Christian Union members in aiming to spread the Word in their own way, even though the so-called God Squad can get a little on my nerves in their holier-than-thou manner, sometimes. But hey, it's not as if atheists can't be irritatingly arrogant in the same way. 

Given the time of year and that it is the most important date on the Western Christian calendar, the basis of the faith and core definition of Christianity, I feel perhaps it might be appropriate to give Jesus a bit of a mention. I'm not looking for discussion or personal attacks on why-people-who-follow-any-kind-of-religion-are-foolish-idiots, 'cause in the end, it doesn't seem to come to anything. People can debate forevermore, but religion can easily be argued either way with no doubt very valid reasons behind it, ones which could just as easily be refuted by the opposition as each side stands their ground. I'm all for wanting to find out more, and while it's interesting to hear people's views,  in the end, it seems that people will come to their own conclusions, and while they may be influenced by particular incidents, no-one can really say for sure one way or another. Call me weak, but I prefer not to participate in such ping-pongs back and forth of rights or wrongs; truths and beliefs. Religion is a such a huge concept, one which can't be solved and rationalised simply, so I'm not even going to try...

Happy Easter!

On the jukebox: Jesus Christ Superstar ~ Everything's Alright 

Shoe Shocked

Today, I have new shoes. 

I am not a shoe person. I am not one of those girls who gets all "Like, oh my gosh, he wouldn't buy me this season's Kurt Geigers, even though he knows I've wanted them since like, yesterday..." I don't have that many pairs of shoes, not least because I have bizarrely shaped annoying Big Fat Feet. I hate shoe shopping. I dislike shoe assistants, the way the hover and stare. I rarely, if ever, go out specifically to buy a new pair of shoes and come back fully boughted and sorted. 

However, by some miricle of modern shopping, I have managed to purchase not one, not two, but FOUR pairs of new shoes in ONE day! Alas, it has not made me cool or fashionable, despite actually having more than one pair that actually fit to choose from, I still manage to end up with going for comfort over beauty, child-like and quirky over cosmopolitan and popular. Perhaps I should take some hints from my shoe taste in other aspects of my life...*

  Chic   Casual

Classy

*Life is better with many pairs...? ;o)

You may remember the following style from such scenes as "why I am a seven-year-old" indeed, I already have a pair so similar, it seems silly to have another, 'specially when they are far from sophisticated. But my blue versions of the same type have been so very reliable and so very comfortable, that I just had to get these: 

Child

I fell in love with this final pair, trashy and impractical though they may be, I did manage to stick to my four pairs of sensible shoes, though, and didn't stretch to buying them:

Kooky

Alors, at the end of it, I come away, not a shoe connoisseur by any means, but with my feet a whole lot happier to have found some new houses to travel in. Yay, new shoes! I know you care. 

On the jukebox: Paolo Nutini ~ New Shoes

Location Education

Today, I have learnt Geography. 

It's shocking how little I know about the whereabouts of places in Britain. Come on, I've lived here for however long, it should be expected that I have some basic knowledge of the island which I call my home: where cities are; distance between places; how near people are to each other. 

Yet still, I find that someone will mention a town and my immediate response is "where's that now?!" It's embarassing, really and the only reason I feel fit to mention it here is because I know I'm not alone in my limited concept of our country as a bigger picture. 

Admittedly, it's got better since I started at university, what with people coming from all over the place. Even then, the majority were "(near) London" or failing that, (near) Manchester or (near) Leeds. Of course, these were the easiest way to explain to these uneducated students that Bolton and Harrogate are in fact, quite decent-sized towns, you probably should have some idea of where they are, or at least have heard of them!? 

Thing is, despite all the diversity, I continue to fail to grab the image of where places are. North of here or South of here, I can just about manage. When you go to how left or right or how far up/down, I struggle. To be honest, if you gave me a blank outline of England along with 15 major cities to place correctly, I'd be lucky if I got 5 within a respectable radius of their actual location. It's a truly awful confession to make, as I think it is important that we have some idea of where we are in relation to other places, especially with the "world is getting smaller" and transport links improving, it's necessary to know where you stand and how to get from one place to the next. 

Google is my friend. But when you're introduced to someone with their "it's a town in Wiltshire" and in my head it's like, "there's a county called Wiltshire!?" a nod and a smile can only go so far before they realise that, yeah, she clearly has no idea where that is...

:oS

On the jukebox: Snow Patrol ~ Set The Fire To The Third Bar

University Undecided

Today, I have waved someone away to the strange land Oop Norf.

She's off to stay overnight in a strange place where she knows no-one and no-one knows her. Slightly scary, and the phone call earlier this evening served to confirm the awkward anticipation and squirmy stomach feeling that most people will experience when placed in an unfamiliar situation. Fresher's week reminiscence, anyone? I know I've been in a similar place, and I don't envy her position at the moment. Hopefully, tomorrow will all be sunshine and rainbows and accounts of a having wonderful time and meeting amazing people, it's just the initial interaction that is the difficult part. 

However, the real reason I have drawn-out this pathetic excuse for a piece of writing, is to spark a battle of the universities. The choice is (mainly) this: Cardiff or Durham? I'd like to be able to offer as much support and advice as I can in helping this person make her final decision on which uni is best for her. Any comments, hints or information that may be considered useful in making this important choice would be much appreciated. 

Of course, there would be no point in asking this unless perhaps, by chance, current students from the well renowned universities of either Cardiff or Durham were here to offer their point of view, to tell me why one should or shouldn't go to their uni, the good, the bad, the ugly and the rest...

Now, I wonder where I could find such fine examples of student specimen?

On the jukebox: The Clash ~ Should I Stay Or Should I Go

Location Complications

Today, I have no local friends. 

This was going to be a point made a few weeks ago, that it's so useful to finally have local friends. It makes networking and social arrangements so much easier when literally everyone I socialise with at uni lives and works within a two mile radius, and most people I care about within a few minutes walking distance. 

Prior to attending university, I didn't have close friends within the immediate vicinity, for various reasons. Now, to be back at home means the same predicament reappears. Getting about to see people is a pain in the posterior due to travel & transport constraints. There are ways and means, but none so convenient as merely popping 'round the corner for a cup of tea and a catch-up, or sitting in the common room and chatting. 

It's always such an effort to arrange events - times, places, people. I miss having the chance to just chill out, never needing structured activities to make a meet-up worthwhile. Part of the problem is, I don't always want to spend a large amount of time with certain people. Just to do lunch, or have a couple of drinks, or watch a film would be fine and would fufil my basic need for socialisation. However, that's next to impossible, as the distance travelled means that the gathering should be long, drawn-out and made full use of. I find myself looking for excuses not to go in the first place, just because it avoids the need to think up excuses to be able to leave...

On the jukebox: Self ~ Stay Home

Delicious Dinner

Today, I have made brown rice pudding. 

It took over 3 hours to cook, but it was well worth it, so yummy, so yummy. The only problem is after a 3 day long party in my tummy, the host is feeling a little worse for wear. It seems like I've stuffed more through my digestive system in the past weekend than for the preceding fortnight; so not so used to having so much food so often!

Without wanting this to turn into a daily food diary (it would very soon become dreadfully dull as my day fills up with the same old dishes), once again I have over-indulged, as follows:

Sushi

King Prawns with Crab in Scallop Shells

Smoked Salmon & Cream Cheese Parcels

Sundried Tomatoes and Chargrilled Artichokes & Aubergines

Fillet of Salmon with Lemon and Pepper

Potato Wedges with Sour Cream

Asparagus & Green Beans

Portabellini Mushrooms with Garlic Butter

Toffee Sponge Cake with Clotted Cream

Home-made Brown Rice Pudding with Nutmeg

It's good to be home. It's good to have good food. It's good to celebrate special occasions with special people. Though I need to lay off the constant snacking a little, for I fear the bloated belly may become a permanent feature which would be less than desirable...

Happy St. Patrick's Day! 

(That wasn't what we were actually celebrating...)

On the jukebox: Sham Rock ~ Tell Me Ma

Stuffed Stomach

Today, I have over-indulged.

2 x Bowls of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes 

1 x Buffet of Thai Cuisine

2 x Bowls of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes 

1 x Bag of Smoky Bacon Crisps

2 x Bowls of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes 

= 1 x Bloated Belly

I'm possibly a bit addited to Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. It's potentially problematic. But so yummy, so yummy. 

On the jukebox: Yo! Gabba Gabba ~ Party In My Tummy - Check this out. Srsly. 

Quoting Queen

Today, I have considered quotations.

The view may be taken that famous quotations aren't much more than the odd line someone else has said that happened to be recorded and repeated and ergo became incredibly profound. There are normal people who might say something of equal merit and meaning, but word never got around. Personally, I enjoy reading quotations, in a similar way to connecting to pensive song lyrics. Admittedly, some aren't of much wisdom, but there are some worth carrying around in your think tank as a way of putting situations in perspective. It's part of the reason there is a Quote of the Day on the right hand side, just there. There may be the odd one that, for whatever reason or interpretation, makes you think, yeah, that makes sense. Also, as it may be apparant, they can provide food for thought for a daily entry...

On the jukebox: Rilo Kiley ~ Silver Lining

Ominous Omnibus

Today, I have waited for a bus.

Sometimes, it feels like you've been waiting forever for one to come your way. When it's raining, and dark and miserable and you just want one to come along and take you away from it all, drive on to a better place. Somehow, it seems that there are no buses to be seen.

Sometimes, perhaps more frustratingly, there's buses everywhere, all perfectly willing to take customers for a ride, but none of them are the right routes for you. You could get on the next bus, and maybe you'd be dry and safe for a while, but in the end, you still have to find your way back home. It'd probably take much longer, too.

Sometimes, it's like, hey, I don't need a bus today, I could just walk along at my own pace, there's no rush. Walking gives me some thinking time, too. Sometimes I think that, but then after a while, the path seems ever so long and lonely and I wonder - why didn't I just take the bus when I had the chance?!

There lies part of the perplexing decision. You could've waited for a bus, but what if it never came? Then you're no better off, and you'd have to walk, anyway. Might as well make the conscious decision to walk, I suppose. Then if a suitable bus passes, you could hop on, or if you're happy still walking, just let it pass. There'll always be another bus. There's plenty more buses on the road.

Sometimes, that's half the problem. There's always more buses on the road. So how do you judge the best one to get? You could hop on the first one you see, knowing it'll only take you half the way. But that's still infinitely further than nowhere. You could wait for the one that takes you comfortably straight home. But again, what if that one never arrives? Or what if it's just too late to be worth the wait? Sure you could stand back and save your pennies for the best bus service, but a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, so might as well get the one that's ready and waiting with it's doors wide open? It's so very tempting.

Then again, you could just choose to drive your own car instead.

On the jukebox: Liberty X ~ Holding On For You - L to the I to B to E to the R to the TY X!

Mixed Messages

Today, I have been confused.

Here, I would like to say what it is that is causing the confusion. The problem is, I can't even begin to articulate what needs to be expressed. I really need to talk to people about stuff that no-one knows. When a joke becomes a possibility becomes a reality, it's not really as fun or flattering as one might think and ends up being rather awkward, a little bit creepy and far too complicated for my liking.

On the jukebox: The Postal Service ~ Sleeping In

Happily Unhungover

Today, I have smiled.

I'm just happy. Topped up with tea & tablets. :oD

People should smile more.
I'm not saying there's nothing to cry for.
It's just an observation I can't ignore
That people should smile more.

He apologised and I forgave. He was embarrassed and I was charming. It's a wonderful life. I write less good, less crap when I'm happy. Less of that need to release the agitation, frustration, complications. Deal with it. I'll be back in insane irritation soon, I'm sure. ;o)

On the jukebox: Jack Johnson ~ Upside Down - trendy traveller type tunes

Dampened Spirit

Today, I have caught a cough.

This is what comes about as a result of spending too much time with real people. You don't catch a cold from the internet. Just in time for the vacation, too. Darn.

Finding myself wishing people could stop constantly feeling down. Not in the 'it's so annoying, why don't they get over it' sense. But in the 'it's happening more and more and there's nothing I can do about it and let's just all curl up in a ball and cry' kind of way. And because it's the norm, there's no help to be had. And because it's the norm, well that's a depressing enough thought in itself.

Every step takes a beat of your heart

Through a city that's falling apart

On the jukebox: Newton Faulkner ~ Dream Catch Me

Tiny Dancer

Today, I have danced like no-one's watching.

It's not easy, given that I have approximately 2 sq ft of floor space, 2 pages of questions to commence, 2 lab reports to comply & a little less than 2 hours to continue to completion before I give up and go and watch Crash or Clueless.

In addition to the fact that I'm about 200 miles from one of my favourite people in the world, who is unhappy due to something I can do nothing to help, and over 2000 miles from another of my favourite people who I haven't seen since forever, 'cause it just aint feasible.

Despite these potentially crippling cry-causing issues, I have been chillin' out to glamourous indie rock & roll and smiled like I mean it while I'm swinging and singing in my cage of four walls. I get a double bedroom next term. Awesome.

It's not confidential, I've got potential.

On the jukebox: The Killers ~ All These Things That I've Done

Internet Interaction

Today, I have found out first from Facebook.

Facebook scares me. A Lot. Not in the 'ahhhh' terrifyingly poo-my-pants scary way, more the sort of 'ahhhh' it's worrying how much people gain knowledge from Facebook way.

When people stalk, and get annoyed soley because of something they read or saw on an online social networking site. Just Ask! Or at least, if you're stalking, stalk properly and find out the truth before you go accusing of cheating or lying or leaving out. Paranoid, much!?

Preferably, don't stalk at all?! But if you do, here's some tips to ease your mind:

1. Photos are not Proof.
2. Kisses are not the same as Kissing.
3. Text is not the same as Sex.
4. Internet Interaction is not the same as Actual Interaction.
5. Do not base views on Statuses or Walls. You will leap to the wrong conclusions.

The fact that Facebook alone can cause 'social trauma' seems a bit silly. If you're going to hate me, hate me for something I've done, not someone you've heard I might be doing from someone who misread it on someone else's profile. Whatever happened to face-to-face? Facebook's a bitch.

*waves enthusiastically to blog buddies* ;o)

Send me an IM, I'll be your friend.

On the jukebox: The Killers ~ Somebody Told Me

Laboratory Lessons

Today, I have vinegar fingers.

Turns out that acetic acid is the same as ethanoic acid which is pretty much almost the same as vinegar. Glacial acetic acid has nothing to do with icebergs and although it smells like the stuff you shove on yer chips, it's probably not a good idea to use it out of a fumehood because it's substantially more stinky and ill-inducing and it might make your eyes water and burn your nose hairs. Check whether you should filter hot or cold, because it could make a lot of difference to the whole attaining product process. Use a toothpick when heating acid because then it won't bubble uncontrollably when it boils and spit and splurge out of the vessel. Also, it's probably a good idea to wear latex gloves in the laboratory, especially if you cut your hand in a way you can't remember on Monday night, because if you get concentrated acid in an open wound it will hurt like a bitch. Even more than acetone in the face, which isn't that fun either, so be careful when washing up. Horseplay in the laboratory is frowned upon and if you flirt or anything more with the demonstrators to improve your marks and make labs and life bearable, remember that it's a small place and word gets round and chinese whispers mean that raunchy rumours spread loudly and widely so that guy that you kind of like a bit might sort of think that you're a bit of a floozy. And that wouldn't be good, would it?

That's what I learnt today.

On the jukebox: Belle & Sebastian ~ Expectations

Amicable Advice

Today, I have sought advice.

She generally gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it)

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

It was quoted by someone, somewhere about how people don't look for advice, they look for reassurance. That is, most of the time, people already know what choice they want to make, they merely seek confirmation that it is the right one. Chances are they'll go for it anyway, even if they don't get the positive affirmation. Talking options over helps to unclutter the mind and make the correct pathway clearer to see, but does that mean it was going to be followed all along, it was a simple matter of uncovering the right route?

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

How much do you think we are affected by what other people think? Can a forceful demand with carefully considered reasoning influence a person to alter their plans? Does a dilemma ever genuinely have an undetermined path, or do we feel in our heart of hearts that we know which is the best option to take?

The best advice is this: don't take advice and don't give advice.

All people want is someone to listen.

On the jukebox: Kimya Dawson ~ Tire Swing - Juno

Justification Required

Today, I have discovered I can justify a blog entry.

I like straight lines. I like neat paragraphs. I am a perfectionist. Justification of blog entries is a technological revelation that I have always wanted, but never thought to sought out how to achieve. Though I'm pretty sure I could have found how to HTML it, I somehow never saw that it was in the tool bar all along! I am an idiotic loser, there's no need to tell me this, just pretend you didn't notice. ;o)

On the jukebox: The Lighthouse Family ~ Lifted

Pretty People

Today, I have been judged by looks alone.

Every day, always. It just makes me wonder, when one day I don't have youth and effortless beauty on my side, will it still be easy to draw people in? Sure, scintillating conversational skills and witty throwbacks work once you reach the interaction stage, but beyond or before that, people look to looks to judge. Often, resorting to appearance as a main means of peer ranking.

"Ok, so maybe he cheated on you, but, but, but...you're prettier than she is"

Personally, I wouldn't find this much of a comfort. Perhaps if you're insecure about your appearance and need a self-esteem boost, but otherwise, knowing that she's not as pretty doesn't make a huge amount of difference. It annoys me when people keep mentioning it as if it's the most influential factor. I think, perhaps, I'd be more insulted if the person he cheated with wasn't as pretty, 'cause then you're forced to wonder what else he is straying for, what other quality she has that makes the betrayal worthwhile, ie. what you don't have.

"Anyway, he's not that hot, you could do better."

It's nice to be with pretty people. I like beautiful boys. There needs to be some form of physical attraction for any relationship to work. But, as is so oft quoted: looks aren't everything.

On the jukebox: Sean Kingston ~ Beautiful Girls