"What's your age then?"
"Guess!"
"Twenty-three...?"
Okaay. To be honest, at this stage of age, it doesn't tend to bother me if people think I'm older than I am. It's cool to have an air of maturity, right? Rather than be living with the mentality of a teenager fresh out of high school, despite the fact that you're a twenty-six year old man. The problems arise the older you get, though. Oh, I'm not going to talk about feeling on the shelf before I've even turned twenty-one, but when I come across someone who's just turned nineteen, it makes me feel old, even though there's less than a year between us, and all of his friends were older than me. If I hadn't had known, I wouldn't have suspected otherwise, it's just that once I did, it made me think: but but but you're younger than me? It's a tough life for girls, eh? Boys, they get older and they can continue to reach for younger models, but I look at someone who's nineteen [the same age as me] thinking, hey, this is a bit weird. Objectively, I can see that it's stupid to rule out someone on principle of age, after all, I have friends who are younger than me, and that's perfectly normal. But in terms of relationship potential, I can't pretend like it doesn't make a difference.
These are transistion years, and I think there's a lot more of a difference from year to year of say the 17ish to 23ish age span than there is after that. Age gaps make more difference the younger you are, along with the older you appear. Recently, I found out my 35 year old lecturer is in a relationship with a 25 year old post-doc student. Now, that doesn't seem such a big gap, yet 19 & 28, it's like - what are you doing!? Another problem lies in the fact that girls are generally way beyond guys in the maturity stakes, so in terms of probability, it makes sense for a girl to go out with an older guy, they're more likely to be on the same level. All too often I've been told I'm old beyond my years, which while is in some part flattering, it doesn't always make things easy. With a few exceptions, I've generally found myself attracted to and involved with older guys, that is after all, the expected choice. But perhaps that's because it's never really deemed acceptable to give the younger guy the chance? Oh, woe to the rules of social interactions.
On the jukebox: Paolo Nutini ~ Jenny Don't Be Hasty
On the jukebox: Paolo Nutini ~ Jenny Don't Be Hasty
"All too often I've been told I'm old beyond my years"
ReplyDeleteAll too often I've been told I'm a grumpy old man...
"Another problem lies in the fact that girls are generally way beyond guys in the maturity stakes"
Hmmmmm. Above 20, I'm not sure thats the case. Some people just are immature, and will always stay that way.
I reckon it's not age so much as life experience. Often this translates into age anyway, but especially by the time you get to university (or into life in general), the two things don't have to be the same.
ReplyDeleteLike... next year we'll be third years, but there'll be plenty of freshers the same age as us. As 'old-hands' to the university experience, to meet someone new who's only just arrived at it? Hmmm.
I sympathise with the being-thought-of-as-a-lot-older problem. People mistook me for 18 when I was 14. Given that I didn't want to use it to try and buy alcohol or anything, that wasn't so nice, and it does affect your outlook.
Hah, I've never been told I'm older than I look/act/are...this may not come as a suprise to you all. The other day I was IDed in a pub when buying food and the guy actually looked embarrassed for me when he realised I am in fact 20.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll go up this next year, Uni has made me mature considerably and I wouldn't say I'm immature, I just like to have fun with life.
I'm intrigued how your blogs have all had a relationshippy feel of late, it's got me awondering...
xx
Dickie: I think it still holds beyond that age, in a general respect. It's hard to judge beyond the age that I am currently, but I've met more 22+ year old boys who act like 18 year olds than for the opposite gender.
ReplyDeleteLucy: I agree about the life experience thing, though not necessarily how that comes from being at university. Depends what those people have been up to in intervening years. Gap years is another aspect that I think generally forces people to grow up a bit more than they might usually.
Hannah: Generally, I just expect to get ID'd. Think 21, innit? I'd only think it odd if I were the only one to get ID'd when in a group of similar aged people, but then again, I am younger than most of my friends, so I suppose it's no real surprise.
Awondering about what? Heh, I suppose recent events have got me pondering a bit too much. And lack of much else of interest to focus on means I dwell on such stuff for far too long...
I've been ID'd at a bar before (after being ID'd at the door) when buying some lemonade. And I was ID'd for cigarettes once when I was 18/19 (and the legal age was still 16, i think it's changed now. Oh, and the fags weren't for me, I hasten to add).
ReplyDelete"I've met more 22+ year old boys who act like 18 year olds than for the opposite gender."
I dunno, I've met as many - if not more! - immature 20-something (or older) lasses as I have immature lads. And certainly, I dont think I (or most guys I know who are a similar age) are on the whole any more or less mature than most girls I know. Of course there are some exceptions, but then that could also be said about some of the girls...
It's probably a function of upbringing and stuff like that, rather than simply age. (*insert psychobabble about nature/nurture here*)
ANYWAY... I concur with Hannah. The relationshippy feel is rather intriguing :-p
And as for dwelling on stuff for too long, welcome to my life...
I agree with Lucy on the life experience thing: I know plenty of 20 year olds (ironically more females than males in my case) who strike me as being incredibly young simply because they were a bit sheltered/never tried to expand beyond their horizons. By the same token that my own life experiences makes me feel older than them, there will be children who've faced much more than I have and consequently will appear (proportionally) much older than they are. I generally assume that people in the year above me are older than me, despite this regularly not being the case.
ReplyDeleteI'd also argue that there are times when immaturity is allowable, and even (dare I say?!) enjoyable. Part of maturity as I see it is knowing when and where that is appropriate.
As for being ID'd...not been ID'd at a bar since the start of the first term, buying a coke. Oddly similar experience to Dickie's; makes me wonder if there isn't some reason behind the random IDing.
Finally, I concur with relationshippy comments above. =)
Awesome! I have a link to this post from Dickie's site. How does that work now?
ReplyDeleteI am the Mistress of Mystery with an aim to intrigue ;o)
I got ID'd on the same night I was thought to be 23. Go figure.
It's a trackback :)
ReplyDelete