Today, I have seen the end of a relationship.
Break-ups are always hard - fact of life, rite of passage. Is it lucky to have never have to go through a break-up? To stumble across the love of your life early on and never have want for anyone else? Well, that's a nice little fairytale and wouldn't it be great if things did work out like that. Maybe, for some they do, and I'm happy for them. If you're content with only ever having kissed one person your entire life and never knowing anything else, sure, you do that. Personally, I couldn't be coping with that. For me, there'd always be the what ifs, and I'd need to get that out of my system before embarking on a life-long companionship. Perhaps it's because I haven't met the right person yet, perhaps it's just human nature. In part, doubting is natural, if you've never doubted, then there's never been a opportunity to prove to yourself the right decision. If you've never questioned, then how can you know it's the right answer?
Anyway, that doesn't take away the fact that even if the questioning leads to the inevitable end, it still hurts to do the 'right' thing. Change is difficult, often, staying the same is easy, is comfortable. Whether it be a three week spring fling or a three year complete dedication, drawing it to a close brings up a whole host of complicated emotions that linger way above and beyond the outward act of breaking-up.
The thing is, single is fun. For a while. But it's never seen as a life plan, is it? The assumption is always that you're on the lookout, however young or old, however much experience you've had good or bad, recently or previously with relationships, everyone's always out on the prowl, yearning for the next number to be the one to make it past the first few hurdles.
To be thrown back to the starting line, into the singles arena, when you thought you had your life figured out in that respect is an awful hard hit to take. To discover that however sure you are, nothing is for certain, ever and you've either got to work with it, or let it go. Sometimes letting go is the more sensible option, even if it means losing face, even if it means being alone, even if it means giving up, even if there's still some love there. Nothing lasts forever, so be honest, it hurts but it may be the only way.
Sometimes, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
On the jukebox: Regina Spektor ~ Samson
Break-ups are always hard - fact of life, rite of passage. Is it lucky to have never have to go through a break-up? To stumble across the love of your life early on and never have want for anyone else? Well, that's a nice little fairytale and wouldn't it be great if things did work out like that. Maybe, for some they do, and I'm happy for them. If you're content with only ever having kissed one person your entire life and never knowing anything else, sure, you do that. Personally, I couldn't be coping with that. For me, there'd always be the what ifs, and I'd need to get that out of my system before embarking on a life-long companionship. Perhaps it's because I haven't met the right person yet, perhaps it's just human nature. In part, doubting is natural, if you've never doubted, then there's never been a opportunity to prove to yourself the right decision. If you've never questioned, then how can you know it's the right answer?
Anyway, that doesn't take away the fact that even if the questioning leads to the inevitable end, it still hurts to do the 'right' thing. Change is difficult, often, staying the same is easy, is comfortable. Whether it be a three week spring fling or a three year complete dedication, drawing it to a close brings up a whole host of complicated emotions that linger way above and beyond the outward act of breaking-up.
The thing is, single is fun. For a while. But it's never seen as a life plan, is it? The assumption is always that you're on the lookout, however young or old, however much experience you've had good or bad, recently or previously with relationships, everyone's always out on the prowl, yearning for the next number to be the one to make it past the first few hurdles.
To be thrown back to the starting line, into the singles arena, when you thought you had your life figured out in that respect is an awful hard hit to take. To discover that however sure you are, nothing is for certain, ever and you've either got to work with it, or let it go. Sometimes letting go is the more sensible option, even if it means losing face, even if it means being alone, even if it means giving up, even if there's still some love there. Nothing lasts forever, so be honest, it hurts but it may be the only way.
Sometimes, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
On the jukebox: Regina Spektor ~ Samson
The worst thing to happen to a relationship is hope because a person will hold on to a tiny strand of hope that the relationship is infact not over and there is still a chance for things to work out even when friends can see different.
ReplyDeleteCourse I'm not talking from experience here, I'm a sensible person...I give advice...always the bridesmaid never the bride...
The assumption is always that you're on the lookout...
Oh yes, and even if you tell people you're not on the look out they still won't believe you, I think some people find it hard to fathom that at some points in life, one is happy to be single. Sometimes, I want to be alone.
I've done the hardest thing and the right thing plenty of times and in the end it pays off better. You can't expect like to be rosey but since when was it written that way? Have the guts to do the right thing, even if it's the hardest thing you've had to do to date and you will feel better somewhere down the line.
Tough love
xxx
People never give much credit to the person who breaks off a relationship, but I reckon that in some ways it's worse than being broken up with - at least then you can rant and rail at the person who inflicted this on you. As the inflicter, you don't really have many people to turn to.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to believe I wasn't on the lookout. But I know otherwise. It's a bit depressing really.
I want to say I can empathise. I can't; although I have only ever been on the dealing end of a break-up and not the receiving end, I can't say that it was a gut-wrenching decision.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with most of what Hannah and Callan have said, though, with the exception that in my current state-of-affairs, I wish that I actually was on the lookout for someone new...
"It's a bit depressing really" sums it up fairly nicely.
Have an e-hug!