Stupid Student

Today, I have so much to learn and only so many hours in the day.

That's not just it, though. Of course, it's annoying that I waste time fretting over the smallest issues. Of course, it's frustrating that all the worry expended on exam stress is essentially worthless, because at the end of the day, you get a 54 or a 67 or a 72 and that's it. You get a few numbers on a bit of paper, and that's supposed to be good enough to represent all the turmoil that was caused in achieving those scores. That's part of the reason I don't like to over-study. There's nothing more disheartening than making your best effort, working your hardest, and then finding it doesn't pay off. At least if I don't study to the limit, then I can pleasantly surprised to discover that there's something I can answer, rather than being bitterly disappointed that all the studying strain still wasn't enough.

However, there's more to my discontentment than that issue. It's more the dip in the pit of my stomach that surfaces when I find that I'm not good enough for two of my good friends. I know it can be a little bit tiresome to have to deal with those of lower intelligence or less intention to suceed at the highest level, you don't want to be wasting your time explaining simple concepts to others when you're struggling with more complex problems. I suppose I've just never been that person before. I've never been the dumb one before.

On the jukebox: Billy Joel ~ Vienna