Today, I have sought advice.
She generally gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it)
It was quoted by someone, somewhere about how people don't look for advice, they look for reassurance. That is, most of the time, people already know what choice they want to make, they merely seek confirmation that it is the right one. Chances are they'll go for it anyway, even if they don't get the positive affirmation. Talking options over helps to unclutter the mind and make the correct pathway clearer to see, but does that mean it was going to be followed all along, it was a simple matter of uncovering the right route?
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
How much do you think we are affected by what other people think? Can a forceful demand with carefully considered reasoning influence a person to alter their plans? Does a dilemma ever genuinely have an undetermined path, or do we feel in our heart of hearts that we know which is the best option to take?
The best advice is this: don't take advice and don't give advice.
All people want is someone to listen.
On the jukebox: Kimya Dawson ~ Tire Swing - Juno
She generally gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it)
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
It was quoted by someone, somewhere about how people don't look for advice, they look for reassurance. That is, most of the time, people already know what choice they want to make, they merely seek confirmation that it is the right one. Chances are they'll go for it anyway, even if they don't get the positive affirmation. Talking options over helps to unclutter the mind and make the correct pathway clearer to see, but does that mean it was going to be followed all along, it was a simple matter of uncovering the right route?
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
How much do you think we are affected by what other people think? Can a forceful demand with carefully considered reasoning influence a person to alter their plans? Does a dilemma ever genuinely have an undetermined path, or do we feel in our heart of hearts that we know which is the best option to take?
The best advice is this: don't take advice and don't give advice.
All people want is someone to listen.
On the jukebox: Kimya Dawson ~ Tire Swing - Juno
Somehow it is always easier to ask out loud for advice than it is for just a listening ear,though. One of those social niceties that makes you feel less bad about having someone's attention for a bit.
ReplyDeleteI knew you'd been watching Juno ;o)
ReplyDeleteHonestly? I don't think anyone ever listens to advice given, like you said they merely seek assurance. One thing I've learnt from Uni and being in such close contact with people is that you can give them as much advice til you're blue in the face but they'll always have to find out for themselves. I think it's just the human condition, the doubting Thomas in us all - we have to know for ourselves no matter what advice and personal experieneces friends have had.
I've always found it best to just listen.
xxx
Whenever I ask for advice, it's generally because I know the answer but it's the harder path to follow, and I want the assurance that I'm doing the right thing/need a nudge to get me to do the right thing. Never really thought about it before though.
ReplyDeleteVery truly spoken.