Impress Me

Today, I have been impressed.

“Impressive, though. To be in that job, married and have a baby before you’re thirty”

No.

I can’t identify quite what irks me so much about this statement. It was probably meant as a throwaway remark, a comment on the neat package of external expectations achieved by an arbitrary age but I just found it annoying that someone could be ‘impressed’ by that alone. Like, you haven’t actually ‘achieved’ much by merely marrying someone or partaking in the physical act of procreating. The person who made the comment knew nothing more of this person’s life than what is on social media. The idea that if you’ve ticked those boxes means you can turn thirty without worry is just odd, in my opinion. Besides, who knows just what the future holds…? Or indeed, the present – you don’t know the details of their situation or what was sacrificed to get there, so I can’t consider marriage and pregnancy impressive in itself without the whole picture. There are far more achievements in life that people don’t seem to recognise in the same way, perhaps because it’s something they’ve already managed, or something they have no desire to do, and I find it quite irritating on occasion.

I am impressed if you run 10 x 10km or 13.1 x 13.1 miles, or 1 x 26.2 miles, whatever your age and whatever the cause. It requires a lot of dedication and training, even if that is what you enjoy doing and especially if it's not.

I am impressed if you makeover your house on the cheap, by yourself, learning new skills in order to do so. Because it’s not always fun to do and things can go wrong, and can be stressful.

I am impressed if you volunteer. If you do a job that helps people. If you give up your own time, not because you will earn more money, but because there is someone in need and you can help them.

I am impressed if you deal with the death of a loved one, admin, emotions and all. It is hard being an adult and sometimes we suddenly have to be more grown up sooner than we ever thought we’d need to be.

I am impressed if you raise children and they are polite and kind. Having a baby itself is not the impressive thing, but being a parent is difficult sometimes and if your child is kind then you’re doing a good job.

I am impressed if you have the courage to stop being in a relationship that is not right for you and silence the expectations of society and social circles telling you to settle or stay. Breaking up is hard to do.

I am impressed if you are able to keep dating even if each one so far has been a dullard or a dick. It’s tough to find enthusiasm to constantly meet new people when chances are they may not be right for you.

I am impressed if you are able to keep genuine friends, make time to meet up with them, share stories. It is easy to let friends slip away if you don’t put the effort in.

I am impressed if you work towards a goal that requires commitment over an extended period of time. If you persevere when the going gets tough and don’t give up.

I am impressed by so many things of varying magnitudes that people around me do, but none of them involves how much you earn, whether you are married or have children and in most cases, age is irrelevant.

Flitterbox: Shania Twain ~ That Don't Impress Me Much