People Person

Today, I have spoken to strangers.

Usually I don't find it too hard to talk to new people, given the circumstance where it's appropriate or necessary, at a party or a barbecue or a situation where you're surrounded by friends of friends or just plain alcohol-fuelled chance encounters, chatting with strangers.

It's fun to meet new people. The thrill of not knowing where it's going, finding out information, piecing together their past, fantasising about the future. You can pretend to be anyone you want, because chances are, it won't need to last too much longer, so it's fine to keep up the act. Sometimes, I feel like I'm only interesting for the first impression. That first spark of excitement. After that, there's no use in waiting around. Perhaps it's a sign of chronic insecurity, perhaps a sign of earnest desperation for acceptance, perhaps I'm punching above my weight or out of my league. Perhaps, it's just not possible to keep up with everyone - if you click enough, you'll find a way to stay in touch?

It's sad, I feel, that I've met so many new people so near to end of term, especially when so many of them are leaving. What we really need, I reckon, is three weeks of welcome-back partying at the beginning of the academic year. When you know enough people to party with, but there's always going to be people you don't know there as well. A chance to get to know people, and have enough time to cultivate the relationships. Now, it feels like I'm only just getting to know some people really well, or at all, and then suddenly it'll be forever without seeing them, because we're not close enough to arrange to see each other when not in the same city.

Strangely enough, it feels like I don't want to leave this place so soon, and yet, on the flip side, I know half the fun of it is knowing it can't last forever. The point is that we're building up to an end. Otherwise, we wouldn't be livin' it up every night. The point is, we won't see each other for at least four months, a year, or never again. It's part of the mixed up this time of year feeling and it's part of the reason I'm sat here now, reflecting and pouring out my soul, feeling like I want to cry my eyes out whilst jumping for joy. Utter Madness.

Sore Throat. Hurt Head. Aching Body. Tired Eyes. Bleeding Heart.

On the jukebox: McFly ~ 5 Colours In Her Hair