It's never just once. Smokers say that the first cigarette isn't nice; it's not. But once you've done it once, you might as well do it again. You've broken the barrier, it's not such a big deal anymore. Like sex. Once you've lost your virginity, you can't get it back. From then on, every subsequent conquest is a notch on the bedpost and since it's not the first time any more, it's not so notable, it doesn't matter, whatever.
The first time you get disgustingly drunk. Once and never again, you say. How embarassing, how terribly hungover. Remember how awful you felt? Remember, how you wanted to die? Yes, for a week, a month, a year. But then you jump right back off the wagon, you've coped before, you can do it again. When a boy treats you badly, so you break up. When you know it won't work out, so you break up. When you know he's just not right for you, so you break up, again. But then the time comes around again for you to come around to the idea that maybe we can work around this situation. Maybe. But maybe it'll be exactly the same as before and nothing more? Maybe.
Maybe it won't be so bad this time. I can give it up any time I like. And I will. Just watch me. I will. I'll watch; I'll wait.
Okay, just once more.
On the jukebox: The Bird & The Bee ~ Again & Again
The first time you get disgustingly drunk. Once and never again, you say. How embarassing, how terribly hungover. Remember how awful you felt? Remember, how you wanted to die? Yes, for a week, a month, a year. But then you jump right back off the wagon, you've coped before, you can do it again. When a boy treats you badly, so you break up. When you know it won't work out, so you break up. When you know he's just not right for you, so you break up, again. But then the time comes around again for you to come around to the idea that maybe we can work around this situation. Maybe. But maybe it'll be exactly the same as before and nothing more? Maybe.
Maybe it won't be so bad this time. I can give it up any time I like. And I will. Just watch me. I will. I'll watch; I'll wait.
Okay, just once more.
I told you so.
On the jukebox: The Bird & The Bee ~ Again & Again
I don't think any of this applies to me. Well, specific subjects in question at any rate. I didn't feel much from having a smoke the first time so didn't do it any more. I didn't like the hangover from being drunk so I never usually get into that state any more. I didn't feel any different pre or post virginity.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I'm the exception or not. I suppose I didn't have any peer pressure to drink and the like. This pleases me.
You definitely need to continue with the sex labels. I will not be content until it is the largest thing on the Mind Map.
Sometimes it is just once.
ReplyDeleteThe song - little gem.
So, precisely which bandwagon have you fallen off/jumped back onto, again? I am a little confused. But yes, whatever it is, you can give it up. When you want to, and not before. You've got years, we've got years, it's fine.
ReplyDelete(And maybe it is a disgusting habit or whatever, but personally, I enjoyed my first fag, I enjoyed my second fag, I enjoy them all, apart from the ones I smoke when i'Ve got a headache and all I can think is, I really need to stop. Which is fine, becuase then I do, and maybe it's a break of a week or a month or a day, but it's a break, and it's my choice to take it up again, and it's not a case of poor willpower as such (well partly), it's just enjoyment, and a lack of urgency.)
@standingonthebrink: The problem in part, I suppose, is not not wanting to give up, but not being able to, regardless of desire or logic. I'm constantly hopping on and off wagons and metaphors. And there's always a part of you, however small or tut-worthy, that enjoys such illicit pleasures (obviously, otherwise you wouldn't do it in the first place) which makes it all the more harder to find the motivation to not do it again...
ReplyDelete@Ipso Facto: thought you might like that one, it was pointed to me by a friend of mine a while back and just popped into my head whilst writing this...
@Adam: I highly doubt you're the exception, and these are only a few examples. I'm sure one could relate it to other concepts too. More sex? Pervert.
:oD