Birthdays are where it all comes together. If I were a little bit geekier or I had done more revision, I might relate the experience to a specific reaction where the various reagents are put in the pot and react in situ in an unprecedented manner, or compare myself to a particular tri-substituted molecule with several separate branched chains or functional groups attached. However, I won't do that. Except I think I just did.
Three is the magic number. I suppose I could count three or so friends from each of my distinct walks of life - schoolmates, coursemates, housemates - a few people with whom I spend the most time or have known the longest. It's weird, though, when they all mingle in the same environment, where the main aspect they have in common is me. My philisophical-studying friend mentioned how people put on different masks around different people, which is quite obvious really, but a worthy point nonetheless.
It makes it difficult to know exactly how to act when everyone's in the same place - the pressure to perform 'cause you're the one they're focussing on, the stress to impress 'cause it's your special day makes me feel a bit uneasy and to be honest, as always, it was a bit of a relief when the day was over. It's fantastic to know I have people that will take me out for dinner, create home-made snacks and cakes, make the time and put in the thought to try to give me the day and the gifts that I deserve. I really did appreciate it all and it was just about the right amount of attention. But the point is, I don't need extravagant celebrations, or elaborate presents or the everyone-I've-ever-known all together to make it special for me. After all, friendship is for life, not just for birthdays and as ever, small things matter the most.
Okay, the problem is I treat blog comments like mini e-mails, so I never stay on the actual subject and instead just talk about whatever comes to mind. Sorry 'bout that.
ReplyDeleteI had a headache today. I bumped my head whilst 'work'ing which brought it on. Yes, I was ill when we spoke. Feel special. On a side note I'm actually having a biopsy on my head soon (re: that problem of mine). My first ever operation. Eek!
(You're a nerd, not a geek. Repeat to self a few times.)
To be honest I've always been fairly low-key on birthdays (o rly?). I don't even allow myself a full day. For me a birthday's always been an hour or so in the morning. Get a few presents, open a few cards, eat some cake and then let the day carry on as normal. I think it's because of precisely what you wrote - I don't like that focus on myself. I never like focus but the EXTRA focus. I much prefer other people's birthdays because I can buy a nice gift and then slink away. I'd certainly never, say, host a party. Aaah, the social pressures of man.
I've always liked the look of your hair. That's the nearest you're getting to a compliment :D
I don't know what these little boxes are (okay I do, I'm just being difficult). Why would I tick one called 'tick'? That's just asking for trouble.
Apologies for lameness, but you got your comment.
I don't like it when different spheres of my world mix together. It feels jarring and unnatural somehow, and I'd rather keep everyone apart and in their own bubbles. My sister is coming to the same uni as me next year and I am not happy at that confluence of family and university life.
ReplyDeleteOn birthdays, I like to take advantage of them for a good night with friends, get some gifts, and enjoy them. I don't count down the days before or mope about after - for me they are a way to have a good day every year =)
@Adam: Thanks for commenting, if you'd like to email, you know where to find me. As for the listening box, see here for explanation.
ReplyDelete@Callan: Your sister is going to the same uni? Yikes, wouldn't fancy that, does that mean you'll be graduating at the same time, too?
For me, any day can be a good day, why need it be a birthday? :D
I don't like hosting things, so me organising a birthday thing is almost never going to happen unless I feel obliged - at which point it becomes a thing for other people, not for me, and I'm not the focus any mroe, which is something, at least.
ReplyDeleteThat said I had something small last year which was utterly brilliant. The focus was only on me for a few crucial moments and the main point was that I got my group into a room together, the group that feels almost like family, and we went to a restaurant, and everyone - everyone - had a great time. And I remember it all.
I don't know what I'll do about this year. There are lots of people I'd love to see on my birthday but - like you, Callan - I hate that confluence of groups. Who am I supposed to be? I'm slightly different in each given group and the Jenny that comes out in some company would utterly shock some of my closest friends.
That said I'm planning on throwing an open-invite houseparty at some point in very early September and it's going to be huge and messy and hopefully good in most parts - but it'll be a joint thing with the rest of my house and not about me at all, and I may or may not do a small birthday dinner again. The thought of organising any of these things gets me jittery even now, months in advance...
Tarn's going to Soton too? I'm not surprised, but it's not hte choice I'd have made - I'd hate to be at uni with Clare, much as I love her, and I wouldn't follow any older sibling I had basically on principle, however close we were (and Clare and I are very close).
Jenny xxx
Nope, I'm two years ahead of her so I'll graduate in 2012 and she in 2014. I'm just hoping that the uni is big enough and the gap between years 1 and 3 is wide enough so that I never really notice that she's here.
ReplyDeleteSmall dinners in nice restaurants paid for by parentals with a bunch of 6 or so friends are amazing ways to celebrate birthdays, and that's what I did last year. I also, however, went out to Oceana the next day with about 25 friends, all of whom I know and like, and that was also amazing. There are types of goodness and I reckon a birthday is a good excuse to fit them all in to a short span of time =)
As in, she's studying medicine too? Double Yikes! Having said that, I know twins who study the same course, at the same uni, living in the same house...a bit overkill, imho.
ReplyDeleteWe're students. Any day of the week is a good enough reason to do something :P I have enjoyed all the 21st celebrations/parties/special somethings this academic year though, just so long as it's not my own...
That is massive overkill! Ah well, their own choice.
ReplyDeleteWhat was the molecule you mentioned?
The molecule in the entry? I didn't have a specific example in mind, because I lose at chemistry and I'm not really sure what exactly I'm trying to demonstrate. I suppose it could be a something similar to a tertiary amine, like trimethylamine or maybe something like tertiary butyllithium which could be further nerdily extended to contain the Li in the analogy with the idea of having the ying to my yang involving the attraction aspect, bonded in a different way to the covalent three methyl friendship groups each with the three hydrogen mates. But maybe that's taking it a bit far.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, they are both fairly unrelated to anything I'm currently studying so therefore fufils the primary aim of procrastination!