This is the first year where people I actually know, beyond a passing connection, are getting hitched and boy, there's a fair few of them. It's so weird, but I suppose you just kind of accept it. Some are older than me (though not by much!) but several are the same age, or younger. It seems 2011 is the year to get married.
While I am wholly for the principle of marriage, I can't say I'm particularly enamoured by the wedding part of it. Other people's weddings, sure, sounds like fun, a chance to meet up and greet; to dance and dress up, and I'm looking forward to the chance to go to some. But my own? I find the idea somewhat overwhelming, with everything to organise, the expense incurred, the guests to invite, the bridesmaids to choose, the gift register to create, etc... It's all a bit oppressing. I kind of feel, as a female, I should have been planning it out from a young age; have everything set except the husband, or at least have imagined a scene or pondered what flowers I might prefer. I haven't though; I don't think about it, really. Do you...or did you use to? I don't mind idle talk of wedding ideals among friends, but I have no particular desire to spend my time wistfully wondering what I might like for "The Most Special Day of Your Life".
Perhaps part of this is because I am not at that stage of life at the moment. I appreciate my thoughts may well be different if I had a concrete reason to get married and the essential person of my wedding were in clear focus, rather than merely a hazy, faceless, suited male. But currently, the idea of a Big Fat Wedding seems like more hassle than it's worth and I'd just want to do without the fuss. I suppose, some of the desire to get married is in announcing your love for one another in front of the other people you know and so what's the point in doing it without them present? I don't know and maybe I can't say until I have to start thinking about this for real.
How would you like to say I do?
Flitterbox: Elton John ~ Chapel Of Love
I don't feel terribly qualified to comment upon this post, other than to smile and to sagely remark that it happens upon you when you least expect it - a bit like a gorsebush, for those of you who like your AA Milne references.
ReplyDelete(Only less prickly and unpleasant, should anyone be worrying.)
Au contraire, you have the opportunity to comment from both sides... Since you haven't always been engaged, you must know how you thought beforehand? Did you dream wedding-y dreams or did you simply not wonder at all, until it happened upon you?
ReplyDeleteI like AA Milne references.
Yeah I've never thought about it in any more detail than "I will wear a dress and there will be dancing and drinking"
ReplyDeleteHaving seen the hassle and expense that goes into planning a wedding up close and personal recently, I'm shifting more and more towards the idea of keeping things simple. At the end of the day a wedding is really just a big party - do you honestly need to spend thousands of pounds on it? Not so much.
Hmmm. I dunno, I was never one for the idea of marriage, and it's only recently that I've been getting the occasional "what-if" thought. I doubt that if I ever do get married, it'll be traditional in any sense other than it being a big party. Plus, like The Girl said, no point in going head over heels with the spending. I'd much rather put all that money towards the honeymoon travel budget.
ReplyDelete"But currently, the idea of a Big Fat Wedding seems like more hassle than it's worth and I'd just want to do without the fuss"
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree ([stereotype] but then, I am male [/stereotype]). Although, I guess it wouldn't surprise me if my views changed if there was anyone I thought I might want to marry. Meh.
I'm not a massive wedding dreamer, but I do, and have, a bit. I want mine to not be massively expensive - I like the idea of a wedding from home, get one person or group to do the food, bribe some other friends into making music and taking photos, calligraphy peoples' invitations and place-cards, and...knit my own dress?(maybe not). To me the important bit (other than the service) is to be surrounded by the people I love best, and for the music at all points in the day to be bloomin' awesome. I hope I can keep it simple and make the whole thing as stress-free as possible for all concerned.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't really understand is the 'no children' rule at some weddings. Surely a wedding is all about family and about making a family and therefore celebrating families in all their forms - and surely that inevitably means that if there are children to be excluded or invited, they should, no question, be invited? If that means that a good friend's baby is crying or gurgling all the way through the vows, well, so be it, and all the better for it, I think. What do you all think?
My dad is a vicar and he's actively encourages children at weddings. He says much the same thing as Jenny. Children usually bring joy (!) and should be a part of the wedding as much as anyone else. He finds it entertaining when one intrepid explorer makes their way up the main aisle :-D
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