Sunday, 9 May 2010

Last Leg

Today, I have spent much of my time curled up in the foetal position, crying.

I can see over two hundred windows from my bedroom. There is a figure in yellow, seven stories from the top of a block of flats, looking out. My curtain is half closed and I'm a fair few meters away. Can he see me?

I can't sleep; I can't eat; I can't even talk any more. I have never felt more despondent about my degree.


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7 comments:

  1. Fiona9 May 2010 at 20:22

    Hugs. This too shall pass. Very soon, it's just a case of putting your head down and running the last bit. Take a day out and read a book that's actual fiction, or go for a walk. Your degree doesn't define you and you're stronger than it is. Lots of hugs. If you want a chat/to just let it out for a bit, e-mail me?

    (Unrelatedly, but hopefully it'll cheer you up a little bit, I'm in the process of turning the second heel. I say give it a week at this rate.)

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  2. Lucy9 May 2010 at 21:39

    I don't know what to say except yes, I know. Yes, me too. These weeks have to go, and thus they will. Eventually. Hugs. Hugs. And ice cream, or whatever takes your fancy right now.

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  3. Lucy9 May 2010 at 21:40

    Wow, it actually let me comment...!

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  4. Phill9 May 2010 at 23:24

    While this would make a good opening scene for a horror film, I don't much like the sound of it as real life.
    Much like Fiona's comment says, you need to run at it screaming. Too much time, money and effort has been put in to let it wreck you now you're so nearly done.
    Know your worth, which is likely much more than you're thinking it is in this post.
    BeardHugs and offerings of a nice mug of tea.

    oh, and shut the curtain. HE'S WATCHING. This fall, one girl is about to ...etc etc

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  5. James10 May 2010 at 11:19

    *hugs*

    But yet, you always strike me as strong. Stronger than I am. You keep going because it's important, and it will pass, and you are, less you think it or not, amazing.

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  6. Harriet Jennings10 May 2010 at 15:14

    Hold your head high, heavy heart.

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  7. Flitterbee10 May 2010 at 22:53

    Thanks y'all. I really appreciate the comments.

    The presentation wasn't fun, it proceeded pretty much as predicted. But I lived to tell the tale and there's only ten more days to go. I can do this.

    And Fi, you're so right. My degree does not define me.

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I like to have my cake and read it too:

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