I'm not a black or white, in or out, all or nothing kind of girl. I'm a wait and see, let things be, hmm possibly kind of girl. But now I'm at the stage where a decision has to be made: should I stay or should I go? A clear cut yes or no. I need to stop floating about in a fantasy world.
"We're one of those really annoying couples you see everywhere at this time of year, aren't we?!"
Why, yes, yes, it appears that we are acting as if that is the case. And for this moment, this instant, this small window of wonderful opportunity, it's fantastic. Until the bubble pops and we find ourselves crashing back to reality.
"We're one of those really annoying couples you see everywhere at this time of year, aren't we?!"
Why, yes, yes, it appears that we are acting as if that is the case. And for this moment, this instant, this small window of wonderful opportunity, it's fantastic. Until the bubble pops and we find ourselves crashing back to reality.
On one hand, I enjoy the affection ever so much. I enjoy the attention even more. I want it all and I want it now. But I can't have it all and I can't have it now. And I'm not actually sure if I want it because I want it, or I want it because I want him. I have a feeling it's the former, but I've not had a chance to find out if it's the latter because he wants me so much, I haven't got enough space to figure out my own feelings. Go away, give me a chance to miss you, say goodbye, it'll make me want to kiss you.
On the other side of the story, I enjoy flirtation ever so much. I'm on the lookout for someone to sweep me off my feet, I don't want to settle for something that is less than fireworks and butterflies, at least at the start. The distance is an issue, as is the whole needing to do well in the workstuff and for that, I don't need the distraction, because I am easily lead astray as it is. That's the logical, sensible side of it.
However, we have fun together and I long for that comfortable couple thing, so much so that I'm giving the wrong impression, up and down all over the place and I'm not just talking metaphorically. Actions speak louder than words. I kind of like the you're amazing affirmation and the random texts of amusing observations. I kind of like having someone there who cares about what I have to say. I tend to make things difficult for myself by blowing hot and cold, handing out mixed messages and misleading signals, left right and centre. But I'm not trying to play a game, I am genuinely confused about how I feel.
I don't really want to start something that I already know will end up going nowhere, because the deeper I let myself fall, the harder the hit will be. And I feel guilty and uneasy being aware that someone is more into me than I am into them. I don't have the time to figure out whether that is absolute, zero versus one, or whether we are just at different stages on the spectrum of attraction and it may take some time for me to get up to speed. I just don't know, I'm not sure and I don't want to be stringing someone along just for a bit of fun, all the while waiting for my knight in shining whatever to arrive out of the dark and show me the sparks I've been holding out for. But well, is there anything wrong with kissing a few frogs along the way?
So someone, please, tell me what to do?
On the jukebox: Katy Perry ~ Hot N Cold - we fight, we break up, we kiss, we make up
On the other side of the story, I enjoy flirtation ever so much. I'm on the lookout for someone to sweep me off my feet, I don't want to settle for something that is less than fireworks and butterflies, at least at the start. The distance is an issue, as is the whole needing to do well in the workstuff and for that, I don't need the distraction, because I am easily lead astray as it is. That's the logical, sensible side of it.
However, we have fun together and I long for that comfortable couple thing, so much so that I'm giving the wrong impression, up and down all over the place and I'm not just talking metaphorically. Actions speak louder than words. I kind of like the you're amazing affirmation and the random texts of amusing observations. I kind of like having someone there who cares about what I have to say. I tend to make things difficult for myself by blowing hot and cold, handing out mixed messages and misleading signals, left right and centre. But I'm not trying to play a game, I am genuinely confused about how I feel.
I don't really want to start something that I already know will end up going nowhere, because the deeper I let myself fall, the harder the hit will be. And I feel guilty and uneasy being aware that someone is more into me than I am into them. I don't have the time to figure out whether that is absolute, zero versus one, or whether we are just at different stages on the spectrum of attraction and it may take some time for me to get up to speed. I just don't know, I'm not sure and I don't want to be stringing someone along just for a bit of fun, all the while waiting for my knight in shining whatever to arrive out of the dark and show me the sparks I've been holding out for. But well, is there anything wrong with kissing a few frogs along the way?
So someone, please, tell me what to do?
On the jukebox: Katy Perry ~ Hot N Cold - we fight, we break up, we kiss, we make up
Stop thinking about it so much. Clear your mind. Then ask yourself if you should stay or go. There will be one answer that'll come to you, whether it's the logical one or not, and that's the one you should listen to.
ReplyDeleteYou can't end a relationship in case it goes wrong because I believe someone called that cutting off your nose to spite your face. I think if you really ask yourself you know the right answer.
You're not stringing him along - but you do need the chance to find out if you'd miss him when he wasn't there.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. And the fireworks are so worth the wait - but who knows, they make come along with this guy in time. I'm hopeless at knowing what I want, and I fall slowly, and for me, fireworks aren't *quite* a Beginning thing.
Hope you work it out :) xxx