Today, I have been woken up by my body clock.
Summer signifies endings. For the past five years, that is what it has always been about. In the same way that September signifies a fresh start, Summer is the indication of everything coming to a close. End of compulsory schooling; end of sixth form; end of halls; end of university. End of friendships. And I'm thrilled that I'm doing so well, but there's always the pinches of sadness within the whirlpool of happiness. It couldn't work any other way.
It's the end.
Life is going faster than I can keep up with and suddenly it's end of term? It's all birthday, drinks, birthday, party, birthday, bbq, birthday, celebrate, one day after another constantly, without a chance to fully appreciate the moment. I'd like to stop and hold it for a bit, pin down the butterflies, gather up the fireworks and blu-tack the moments to my heart, but I think if I stand still for too long I'd just be watching it whoosh by instead and that would make me more upset.
It's the end.
I can sort of see what they mean now when they say that student years are the best ones. I don't ever plan to describe it as such, as it's been such a confusing mix of emotions, rushing throught the heights and depths of growing up at the speed of light that it's very hard to say, confidently, that it was the time of my life. But I can sort of see what they mean, now.
It's the end.
It's all going to end soon, and gosh, I'm going to miss it. Like anyone does, I already miss the moments I know I will never have again. Change is hard. It's weird and often upsetting and bound to be unsettling. But eventually, you get used to it, you accept it, and though, you know, things won't ever be the same again, you are able to move on. Because there's always something more just around the riverbend and every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. So keep swimming.
On the jukebox: Semisonic ~ Closing Time - wham! in the solar plexus
Summer signifies endings. For the past five years, that is what it has always been about. In the same way that September signifies a fresh start, Summer is the indication of everything coming to a close. End of compulsory schooling; end of sixth form; end of halls; end of university. End of friendships. And I'm thrilled that I'm doing so well, but there's always the pinches of sadness within the whirlpool of happiness. It couldn't work any other way.
It's the end.
Life is going faster than I can keep up with and suddenly it's end of term? It's all birthday, drinks, birthday, party, birthday, bbq, birthday, celebrate, one day after another constantly, without a chance to fully appreciate the moment. I'd like to stop and hold it for a bit, pin down the butterflies, gather up the fireworks and blu-tack the moments to my heart, but I think if I stand still for too long I'd just be watching it whoosh by instead and that would make me more upset.
It's the end.
I can sort of see what they mean now when they say that student years are the best ones. I don't ever plan to describe it as such, as it's been such a confusing mix of emotions, rushing throught the heights and depths of growing up at the speed of light that it's very hard to say, confidently, that it was the time of my life. But I can sort of see what they mean, now.
It's the end.
It's all going to end soon, and gosh, I'm going to miss it. Like anyone does, I already miss the moments I know I will never have again. Change is hard. It's weird and often upsetting and bound to be unsettling. But eventually, you get used to it, you accept it, and though, you know, things won't ever be the same again, you are able to move on. Because there's always something more just around the riverbend and every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. So keep swimming.
The End.
I know exactly what you mean. Things ending - nostalgia starting before you even actually get around to leaving, all of it. I'm not looking forward to leaving university. I'm looking forward to what comes after that, but I'm not looking forward to leaving, that'll be hard.
ReplyDeleteI still experience bouts of nostalgia from time to time, I don't know if that ever goes away. People tell you uni is the best time of your life and that's true they just forget to tell you that you might experience some of your worst times also - rose-tinted spectacles firmly on.
ReplyDelete