Knock Knock

Today, I have answered the door. 

With dripping wet hair and flustered face, having just come out of the shower. Not in the best position to give my autograph, on top of the fact that answering the door to strangers is near the top of my list of "irrational fears", at about the same level as using the telephone to call people. 

Despite the fact that there was another person in the house and it was evident that there were people in due to the fact that dog was out in the garden, it was left to five minutes of doorbell pushing and "IS ANYONE IN?" shouting before I had to rush downstairs in whatever clothes I had to hand (a mean feat considering I am packing and stressed and clothes are all over the place, but none so suitable to wear...) and open the door to the person still standing there waiting. 

It would have also been handy to know that someone of my household was expecting some packages today, then I would have been aware that it was necessary that someone should be avaliable to sign. Anyway, all that annoyance building up inside, I signed with a smile and a sorry; a thanks and a goodbye.

He said, no worries and told me I had a nice smile. That almost made all the fuss & stress worthwhile...

On the jukebox: Semisonic ~ Secret Smile 

Turn Around

Today, I have not packed. 

I really don't want to go back. 

I really don't want to do essay.

I really don't want to do study.

I really don't want to do labs. (& associated awkwardness)

I really don't know what I want. 

It sucks. A lot. 

On the jukebox: Keane ~ Everybody's Changing

Growing Pains

Today, I have a skewed sense of self.

It was weird. Seeing people from four different stage of my life, all in one place. Primary school people who I hadn't since I moved. Secondary school people who carried through. Sixth form people, who I never really knew. Uni people, just out of the blue.

It was strange. Despite the fact that I'm away from uni, the only people I actually greet when I meet unexpectedly in the home county are people from uni. I suppose it's the location conflict. You don't necessarily expect to see people from uni in your home comforts, so when you do, it is deemed appropriate that you should acknowledge each other, maybe even act like you know each other well, even though you know you both live in the same cities most of the time, and yet you haven't crossed paths in six months. It makes a person appear popular though, and that's always a bonus, eh?

It was fun. To dance to C'est La Vie like we were ten years old making up routines in the bedroom again. Except now we're turning twenty. There's something about turning twenty that makes you reflect. I suppose you could say the same for any birthday. But twenty, you've got the 'next decade' effect; the 'almost adult' complex, yet still the sense of 'in-between' - past eighteen but not yet twenty-one. No longer a child, not quite grown-up. In limbo and in learning, with paths passed and future on the horizon. Waiting.

On the jukebox: Frank Sinatra ~ That's Life

Buzzing Blogger

Today, I have buzzed about cyberspace.

Starting this blog way back then, it was with the plan that it would be nothing more than my day-to-day record of little bits of not much interest. Three months and one hundred posts in, I have found myself catering suitably to the student audience, as they represent the majority of readers here. This place wouldn't hold much face among the people of the wider world, but within the student sector, speeches of social networking sites; the home/uni differences; studying sighs; boys & girls; friends & housemates make for acknowledging nods and smiles all the while. This is what I like. Diversity is healthy, but what people really want is to know there is someone out there who is thinking a similar way to themselves; someone to relate to; someone to show we're not alone...

I thank you all for your recent postage all over the blogosphere, and hope there will be many more musings to come...

On the jukebox: James ~ Sit Down

Unexpected Embrace

Today, I have had a hug.

We all need a hug in the morning,

and one at the end of the day,
As many as possible squeezed in between,

to keep life's troubles at bay.
No matter wherever you ramble,

your problems be great or be small,
It is my belief, for instant relief,

a hug is the best cure of all.

I heard about the Free Hugs Campaign a while back. Now, I couldn't imagine participating in something like this, well, it's just not British, is it? Or you know, like, general human nature. The idea of cuddling random people doesn't particulary appeal to me. Would you do it?

Although , sometimes words aren't enough, and a hug really does help. Does the fact that it's from a stranger make a difference?

On the jukebox: Sickpuppies ~ All The Same

Empty Enragement

Today, I have been told to relax.

Do you know how much work I should be doing? Do you know how much work I have done? Do you know how much research I have conducted for this essay? Do you know how many books I have to help with this essay? Do you know how long it's been since I wrote an essay? Do you know how many weeks it is until my exams? Do you know how little I know?

If you knew the answers to all these questions, you wouldn't tell me to relax.

On the jukebox: The Strokes ~ Trying Your Luck

Casual Conversations

Today, I have been concerned by a lack of contact. 

It's strange, when the only form of contact you have with someone is the internet, how disconnected you can feel when they are disconnected from it. I suppose, in a sense, it's not strange at all, seeing as it is the only form of contact, not having that form of contact means not having any form of contact at all, which while doesn't ultimately alter your daily life as things stand - and truth is, they're probably doing ok, too -  it is still a bit rubbish. 

On the jukebox: KT Tunstall ~ If Only