Today, I have a disease.
It’s not contagious, though it is wide-spread among the population. Generally, the illness manifests itself in early teens, or at least that’s when you become “A Sick Person” rather than just “A Person”. Not that there are particular symptoms, as such, indeed people with this disease have the capability to live long and fruitful existences, albeit arguably with a marginally lower quality of life than those without the condition.
I have had the virus for a while now. Initially, the diagnosis bothered me, but more recently, I’ve found that drawbacks usually associated with this illness haven’t affected me so much. In fact, I’ve felt a little like I may sometimes be better off for it; I tend not to mention that though. I think sometimes people prefer to pity those in this 'unfortunate' circumstance, and those who don’t have it don’t always understand that you could be happy with it; that you’re used to it; that it may not affect your daily life all that much; that you manage just fine as you are. They don’t understand why you’re not absolutely desperate to find a cure?!
That’s the odd thing about this virus, you see. There are plenty of people who once had it and have now been cured completely, but there is no one-pill-for-all solution. The medication relies heavily on the interaction with your specific DNA and as such, is different for each person. There are a lot of remedies to try out and while some of them ease some of the minor symptoms, or may relieve your system of the virus for a while, very few can rid you of the disease for good. People who have never really come into contact with the virus don’t really get why you wouldn’t try every chance out there; why not take any medication you can get, surely statistics dictate that one of them is bound to work eventually, then you needn't worry about this treacherous virus eating away at your soul.
I understand the mentality, I mean, who would choose to live with an illness if they could help it, especially one that has such a social stigma attached to it? But trying out any kind of tablet, in the mere hope that this might be the one to save you, takes time, effort, expense and in the end is a bit pointless, really. At the moment, I can cope fine as I am, on my own. Plus, sometimes the medication can present nasty side effects that aren't actually any better than living with the virus alone. I’d prefer to wait until I come across a solution that I know will specifically help me; a pill that fits with my gene type, rather than simply going for the nearest available match because it’s cheap and easy.
I do want to find a cure, believe me; I definitely don’t wish to live with the virus forever. While I’m young and able to fight it if I want to, as I get older, it’s more likely that the unpleasant symptoms of the disease will become more debilitating and disheartening. Additionally, the older I get, the harder it becomes to find a cure. Indeed, one of the worst long term effects of the virus is that it can leave you childless and while I’m too young to be thinking of bearing offspring just yet, I’d like for it to be a possibility at some point, please.
So, I have a virus and it doesn’t look like I’ll find a cure for it any time soon. Most days, I’m okay with that – good things come to those who wait. Some days, though, some days, it really does feel like hope isn’t quite enough and that I may well end up eternally single.
On the jukebox: Gary Jules ~ Falling Awake
Hugs for Flix.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a nice affliction, it's sometimes hard not to let it dominate your day-to-day life.
But let's not call it an illness, talk about it like something else I was diagnosed with recently - it's a condition.
Of course, that other condition is treated four times a day.
I think even those WITH the cure for our mutual condition wouldn't mind being able to administer treatment four times a day...
ahem
What was meant to be a heartfelt, serious-faced reply appears to have been ruined thanks to the other disease I suffer from - and this one is a disease.
But from someone similarly afflicted, have some all-heart, no-pun hugs for the bleak days when it takes over, and high fives for the days when it doesn't. Here's to many more high five's
x
"Some days, though, some days, it really does feel like hope isn’t quite enough and that I may well end up eternally single."
ReplyDeleteIf there's any justice in the world, someone who can write as well as you won't. Hope will get you everywhere, and for the days it doesn't, perseverance will.
x
We should set up a support network,SA or something.
ReplyDeleteAre you supposed to make out to everyone you're ok with this affliction? Are you supposed to just give that half hopeful smile and carry on as though you're happy as the month of May?
May's not a very happy month really, full of rain this year so it was.
I often wonder if I'll be someone to buck the trend of "there's someone for everyone". It's easier to see the positive for someone else. You try and be positive for yourself and it all comes crashing down around your ears.
"...you could be happy with it; that you’re used to it; that it may not affect your daily life all that much; that you manage just fine as you are."
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. I have a condition myself, and I've often been asked why I'd rather let it be than do everything in my power to fix it - the truth is, it doesn't affect that big a part of my everyday life so as to make it debilitating to the point of "fixing" being necessary.
That said, when I was young and it first manifested itself, I was taken to every doctor and given every medication under the sun to try and rid me of it.
And sometimes, you *can* be positive for yourself. At other times, you need others to be positive for you. So here's a hug from me, too! :)
I don't think you want my tough love approach.
ReplyDeleteooooh, pretty new layout.
ReplyDeleteYou should do a blog to go with it ;)
*supportive comment accompanied by wan, knowing smile*.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, that's the best I can do.
*hugs*. xxx
Oh you are a clever person aren't you. I see what you did there.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find hilarious is the number of people who, after you have contracted the disease, suddenly become incredibly wary that they are also going to catch it too, so distance themselves from you.